Forever Young

Chapter 22

I sighed in exasperation as Carlisle droned on and on. He had spent several minutes trying to explain how letters could be silent, and it was still a topic I didn't understand. I kept glancing at the clock, despite the fact that I couldn't read it- it was just a habit that I had picked up from Koda and Renesmee.

Today was an important day... at least to me. As soon as lessons in the study were all done, Carlisle was going to take me outside for my first lesson centered around my powers. I was excited to finally have something to do that I was good at. Learning was much harder than demonstrating.

"Alright, Nessie and Koda, why don't you two head downstairs? You're done early today. Camellia, please wait a moment before leaving. I need to speak with you."

Why did I have to stay behind? That wasn't fair. Especially on a Friday, when freetime was the most precious because homework due the next day wasn't lingering over our heads.

I was careful not to let my irritation show as Carlisle called me up to his giant desk. "Camellia, I would like you to try something for me, please. I have a book here called 'Dick and Jane'. It's older, but very helpful for children who are learning to read. Could you come and see how many words you know in it, please?"

I wanted to turn and run from the room. I had memorized most of the alphabet now- I only really had problems with a couple of letters. But full words were still difficult.
And he wanted me to try and read a full book? 

Why did he always have to overestimate me? Why did I always have to let him down?

Carlisle's hands came under my arms, lifting me on to his lap so I could see the little book that he was opening on his desk. There were only shorter words, with pictures on both of the pages that were open in front of me. And the words were printed in a large font across the page, unlike the chapter books that Renesmee read.

"Go on, Love," Carlisle encouraged when I didn't even attempt to start reading. "You don't need to read it all. Just read out any words you can understand. If there are none on the first two pages, we can move on to the next pages. And if you can't read any of them yet, that is just fine, as well. Just give it your best effort, and I will be proud."

I sighed, trying to get ready for the failure that was about to grip my chest and knock the breath out of me. 

"L-oo-k," I sounded out slowly, the sounds not making much sense as they came together. Carlisle's grip tightened on me.

"Well done, Camellia," he said softly. "That word is 'look'. Go on."

I had gotten it right? How? I didn't know how to read.

Did I?

Glancing down at the page, I took a deep breath and repeated the word I had just read before moving on to trying to sound out the next word. "Look, S-pot, Look. S..se... See T-i-m and P-uff. Je-Ju...m-p, S-pot, Jump. J-ump u-p. Jump up."

It took me longer than it should have to get the correct sounds out, but when I did, they all sounded pretty close to right. Had that made sense? It felt like what I had just read made sense. But how could it have? How could the squiggles on the page make any sense at all to me?

When I looked up at Carlisle, he had a huge smile on his face. "Camellia Louise," he said, and it was the first time he had used my middle name like that, without a scolding tone. "You just read your first whole page. You can read, Sweet Girl."

The correct response would have been to smile back. Or to clap and cheer. Or to turn the page and keep reading.

So why was I not moving? Why was I staring at Carlisle, as if his words didn't make sense? Why were there tears building in my eyes?