Waxing Crescent (Completed)

Mark

Mark Masa

I am staring at my own listless reflection in the mirror while still holding my phone against my right ear. The disconnect tone sounds so melancholic adding more misery to my already desolate state. I pulled my hair trying not to scream my frustration out.

I am in a man's washroom and can't remember how I get here. I was walking with Fuse and Kamphan earlier heading to our next class when my phone started ringing. P'Vee was calling and I scurried away from my friends to look for a quiet place to answer P's call.

Hearing his voice from the other side after how many days without seeing him sends me butterflies in my stomach. I so missed it. But our conversation ended so badly when I tried my best to be indifferent towards him. I surely made him annoyed again.

P' Vee ended the call and left me with more things to think about. He said he'll wait for me after class. He wasn't asking. It was an absolute commandment.

It has been three days since our last encounter when he left my apartment while I cried my heart out. I went to the university that same morning and I saw him with Ploy in the cafeteria. They were holding to each other's arm in front of so many people that were eyeing them with utmost jealousy. And that includes me. Everybody wishes to have a relationship like these two. They look so perfect together. Ploy is beautiful while P' Vee is just gorgeous! I don't know when I'll stop saying this. P' looks so happy and peaceful when he was with her. The opposite when he was with me where he is mostly annoyed and vengeful. I came to the cafeteria because I was starving. But I won't be able to swallow the food with those two in the same room with me. My heart won't make it. I immediately bring myself to leave.

If I was Ploy crying in front of him that morning, he might have insisted to stay and comfort me.

I hated myself for acting like that. I complained to him to stop treating me like some woman when I myself acted like one that morning. It was so humiliating! I know he left without much argument because he was so disgusted with that vulgar tantrum of mine.

I used to be a person that is very careful with regards to showing my emotions. Most of my friends tell me I'm a little cold-hearted. I can be friends with anybody but I have the peaceful phlegmatic personality. I have a quiet and relaxed soul and good at hiding my emotions. I am a silent observant that doesn't give a damn of other people's business. I dealt with my problems on my own believing that the more people I tell, the more it'll get worst.

The way I handled my breakdown that morning was so not me. The last break up I had went smoothly that me and most of my exes remains as friends today. Those break ups I had were also painful but mostly tolerable.

This kind of hurting is so new to me again. Only P' Vee was able to do this to me. And again, we aren't even lovers to begin with.

I know too well that liking a straight man especially those who already have a girlfriend won't end up good. I don't want to make my life complicated. I avoided those type of men in the past.

How can I avoid P' Vee when he's the one whose coming after me? How can I stay away from a hellish situation when I already started dancing with the devil?

"Mark! Let's go!" Kan gave me a slap on my shoulder as he grabs his bag ready to leave the classroom. The last class has ended without me getting anything from our professor's lecture. I kept on thinking what I am going say to P' Vee when we meet. I am too nervous but a little excited at the same time. This will be the first time I will see his face again after that scene I saw in the cafeteria when he was with Ploy.

"Hey Mark! I said let's go! Why are you spacing out like that?" it was Fuse who poke me this time. I didn't answer him but started to put my books inside my bag.