Waxing Crescent (Completed)

I'm Not Good in Hurting

Mark Masa

When the heart gets too heavy with pain, people don't cry. They become silent, completely silent. But in the end, this pain will make you stronger.

So hold on Mark. Hold on dear self.

I watched P'Vee dragged himself away from my room looking all hurt and devastated. I pursed my lips so hard tryna control my self from calling after him. Because deep inside, I wanted him to go back. And if he does, I can't guarantee I won't be able to ran into his arms again.

"What the hell was that Mark?" P Copter who was in my room all along came behind me making me snapped out of my senses. He was looking at me scowling.

"Uh. Just gave him a little dose of pain P. It's ok right?" I wryly smiled at him but he never returned it.

"Are you sure about that? Did it make you feel happy? If it did, then it's fine." He retreated back inside my room.

I clenched my chest that answered for myself if I felt happy to what I did to P' Vee. Clearly, I'm far from being happy. I was hurting as much as I have hurt him.

"Hey Mark. Don't make it a habit though. Hurting that man if you are not sure about your feelings. You might regret it someday." P Copter warned while he let himself slumped at my sofa drying his own hair. The four of us, James, Win, P' Copter, and I went to P' Kritt's private villa when he invited us to play some board games. We were drenched back in the rain when it started pouring as we get off of my car before we could get inside my building. That was why the three of us showered immediately upon reaching my room in order to avoid catching a cold.

I had just finished showering when P'Kritt excused himself to go, thus meeting P' Vee outside my door. P' Kritt is P' Copter's lover for a year now. P' Kritt has been so nice to me even after knowing I was his boyfriend's ex lover. He has this lambent personality that makes you want to be close to him. This is why P' Copter has been madly in love with his boyfriend.

It wasn't my intention to say those hurtful things to P' Vee. But I don't know what has gotten to me that I suddenly instilled those misleading thoughts into his jealous mind that I know so well. I was also considering to attend Gun's birthday party but when I started taunting P'Vee, I blurted out that I am not going.

I left his house early this morning without waiting for him to wake up because I started panicking. He might have waken up a little bit when I started caressing his face and planted small kisses all over it. But he succumbed back to sleep after murmuring my name. I hurriedly dressed up and dashed out of his room afraid that I might not be able to escape his pheromones when he wakes up fully and started to bewitched me into falling madly in love with him all over again.

But I have never been embarrassed my whole life when I meet P' Vee's brother in their kitchen. P' Yoo was the total opposite of P' Vee. Their physical similarities was undeniable but P Yoo gave a more gentle vibe. He was thoughtful enough and avoided to interrogate me further with the ruckus we had cause the other night. I was so stupid asking him about the walls in P'Vee's room that I banged my head repeatedly on the steering wheel of my car after leaving their house. He never answered though. Just cough out a little and smiled at me. Ugh! I swear I'm gonna kill that lying bastard, if I have given a chance.

I stared inside my closet looking at my clothes still debating with myself if I'll go to Gun's house or not. P' Bar was so nice to invite us and I don't want to hurt his feelings. But what would P' Vee think if he see's me there after telling him I will not go? Ah! This is giving me a headache.

"If you wanna go, then go. You look so weird standing over there having that inner monologue inside your head." P' Copter threw a pillow at me after observing me for too long.