Waxing Crescent (Completed)

Self Inflicted Misery

Mark Masa

"I miss you Mark! I really miss you!"

P' Vee repeated this lines twice before P'Bar and P'Neau could drag him far enough for him to see me. I felt my face heat up as the other students were already looking at my direction and to P'Vee's.

"Wow Mark! That person of yours is crazy! Quite handsome but still crazy." P' Copter was laughing beside me while pointing at the three seniors who now disappeared after turning in a bend.

"What person? He isn't." I complained to him as the two of us walked towards my car. People were still staring at us as we get into my white Audi R8 Spyder. I don't know if it's us they were looking or my luxurious car. Sometimes I wished I just left this car at home. People staring all the time is too bothersome.

"But really Mark. I wasn't all surprise when you were all so willing to be a wife to that handsome senior. If you haven't told me about your story, I would be so ok with it." I let P' Copter to the driver's seat. He had been so thoughtful enough to drive my car for me from Bangkok. I don't like driving for such long distances. I get all dizzy from driving for hours. I preferred travelling by plane.

I went home the afternoon after me and P'Vee's last conversation at the parking lot of my apartment building. I don't know how I was able to carry myself back to my room without tripping or breaking down. It's because my feet felt so heavy like they are made of lead. James and Win stayed with me until I get into my room safely.

I ended everything between me and P' Vee that day.  I think it's ok to walk out of someone's life when you are so sure that you won't be able to belong in it anymore. Me and P'Vee will never have our own story. I was only an annoying advertisement between his story with P'Ploy. I am just needed if he wanted to feel good. A distraction from his boring life. Nothing more.

The pain was unbearable at first that it almost throw me down the pit of depression. There was a moment when I feel like my senses had shut down completely. There was no sense of touch, no sense of smell, taste and even sight. A total apathetic state. I don't feel anything except for the pain inside my heart. It was worst than dying.

My mother's phone call save me that day. Hearing her soothing voice made me decide to go home. My house wasn't exactly my comfort zone because of my dad. He spends more time with work but when he's at home, he would all be judging with everything that I do. My mother was different though. She's always the understanding type and would always support me no matter what I do. I know that she will be the only person who can ease the discomfort inside my heart caused by P Vee.

My mother was delighted to see me. And she knew right away that something was wrong when I hugged too tightly the moment I saw her and started sobbing on her shoulders.

I told my mom everything. How I met Vee and how I fell in love. And I told her how that same person broke my heart too. What I like about my mother is her being the best listener. She didn't interrupt as I told her the ups and downs of falling in love with P'Vee. She just rubbed my back tenderly as I was clinging to her while telling this.

In the end, she would tell me how dad and her cared about me so much. That they wouldn't agree with my preference in the first place because of the business our family is running. That image and reputation is a big deal especially to dad. But if it is like this already, then the both of them can't do anything to stop me. All they have to do is make sure I stay in the right path and avoid getting hurt like this.

My mom made sure to pamper me in my 4 days stay at home. She cooked my favorite foods for me. I spent most of my time in my room as I don't have any motivation to go out. I still think of P'Vee and our moment together. I admit I missed him during those times that I was almost tempted to open my phone again to check on him in his social media. But I stopped myself knowing too well it would only bring me more suffering if I won't be able to control my feelings for him.