Waxing Crescent (Completed)

Astraphobia

Vee Vivis

How difficult could it be to give up on something so vital in our life like air? It's as good as being dead. Or maybe I am dead already because I found it so difficult to make my legs move as I walked away from that person. How many times did I bumped myself on somebody or something like some mindless zombie prowling in the night.

The worst feeling is when you don't wanna give up on someone but you know you have to.

Letting go of my feelings for Mark wasn't easy. But I have to make myself do so. Too many things have happened since the two of us had met. It all began with Seera and my irrational desire to get back to Mark. But now that my cousin is dead, and all misunderstandings cleared up, it's time for me to stop my addiction to the person whose sanity I almost destroyed.

No matter how I pushed my feelings to him, Mark makes sure to show me how he rebukes it. Pain after pain of constant rejections where I thought I might have endure. But the last one on Gun's birthday was the most hurtful. Even if he slept with that Kritt guy or not, Mark made himself clear that sex with me was no different with how he does it with other people. He did not hesitate to attack me with those words knowing too well it would destroy me. If he has a little affection left, we wouldn't say that. If you love someone, you couldn't bear to hurt them this much.

Finding him on the rooftop of the hospital to comfort me was so surreal that I thought I was still dreaming. I held on tight and begged him not to leave me but when I woke up the next morning, he was no longer there. The same morning when he left me all alone after spending a night embracing each other. I hated those mornings. It keeps on happening to me that I dreaded sleeping afraid another wishful dream with Mark comes again only to give me more disappointments when I wake up the next morning. The heart gets tired too.

I have said to myself that I have to endure this. Life without associating myself with that junior again will never be easy, but I have to make it happen. I will focus on my studies. Internship will be starting soon and it's enough to keep myself distracted. Maybe I will find someone soon that could make me forget about him. I was able to forget Ploy because of him. So it's not impossible for me to meet another person who could make my heart beat crazy like how Mark did. I believe I'm a different person now. Mark changed me and it's a little ironic that rhis person will no longer be there to witness it.

Days have passed by as Mark and I started to drift away from each other more and more. I still see him around the university but I tried to avoid him as much as possible. Like turning a detour when I realized that we would cross path along the corridors, or just stopped in the middle of eating a meal when I see him getting called with my friends to join our table. It's better like this than forcing myself to smile or talk to him casually when the meeting between us would be too unavoidable. Because whether I like it or not, I still get affected with Mark's presence.

"Oi Vee! Where are you going! It's about to rain! You can't go home yet!" Bar yelled as I sprinted away from them after I saw Mark being dragged by Yiwah towards our usual hang out.

"Mom called! Gotta go home asap! Bye guys!" I yelled back to Bar running as fast as I could towards the place where I parked my motorcycle. When I was at a safe distance away from my friends and from Mark, I walked more slowly. There was a loud bang of thunder that made me look up the sky. Bar was right, it's about to rain cats and dogs soon.

I get on my motorcycle hurriedly thinking I might make it at home before the rain could fall. I was driving along the series of trees going out of the university when the rain poured on me heavily. It was impossible to drive in this condition that I decided to pull over and take shelter at a nearby tree. I was soaking wet from head to toe and tried to rub my face to get a little warm when a Strada Athlete Black parked infront of my motorcycle.