Waxing Crescent (Completed)

Patience is a F*cking Virtue

Vee Vivis

Here I am again. You'll be hearing a lot from my chaotic mind lately while Mark takes his time to heal his beart. 😞

I had a terrible nightmare. Yes. This time it's not a dream like the one I had when I slept at Mark's room. No. I mean at Mark's cold bathroom floor. Dreams are like happy feelings you wanted to last while a nightmare is nothing but flashbacks of the things that you don't want to remember.

And the whole thing that happened between Mark and I this past few days have been my worst nightmare.

I opened my eyes to see the familiar ceiling of my room. I was in my own room and from one glance at the window, I could say that it's dusk already. How did I get here? I honestly can't remember.

The last time I recall, I was at the parking lot of Mark's residential building. I remembered encountering the kid there and I think I passed out after our one sided conversation. One sided because the cowardly me wasn't able to talk back to him. I just stared at his lovely face looking all miserable while he talked on ending our little game called 'relationship'.

Mark's words were so painful that it robbed me of my ability to reason out to him. The well-rehearsed explanation I prepared inside my head had been totally useless. I was muted by the pain and guilt that Mark made me feel.

There is finally no more tears for me to cry. Maybe I was so dehydrated that my tear ducts had finally dried up. I forgot when I have last eaten or drink. Hunger nor thirst were not able to distract me from the pain that Mark had caused.

"Vee? Darling are you awake now?"

I opened my eyes when I heard my mom's voice. She entered my room cautiously holding a tray with some food and water on it. The sight of her made me bring my self up abruptly that I felt dizzy all over again from the sudden change of position. Orthostatic hypotension the medical student would call this.

My mother's presence brings comfort to my wounded soul. I wanted to hug her so bad. She must have read my mind that she immediately put down the tray of food at my bed side and roughly pulled me to her arms.

"Oh my baby is hurting. Tell me what mom can do for you to make you feel better?" She strokes my back making it more easier to breath. I hugged her more tightly suppressing my urge to wail like a toddler.

"Mom my heart is like being pierced with hundreds of needles. It's so painful. Mom. What do I do? Mark doesn't want me anymore. I feel like dying." My voice was shaking and this feels a lot like crying only with no tears. I felt my mom flinched a little upon hearing Mark's name.

I haven't told my family about Mark yet. When my brother Yoo started opening his preference dating both men and women from like a couple of years ago, my parents were a little skeptic. But soon they began to widen their perspective about their son's sexuallity and gradually accepted it. So the pressure is on me in terms of giving them a grandson.

"Mom? Will you and dad hate me if I tell you I'm in love with another man?" I snuggled to her hair smelling her pleasant scent that felt so homey. My mom cleared her throat before answering me.

"I'm not gonna say that I'll be happy about it Vee. But seeing you all hurt like this, is telling me that you love that person so much. I knew something was going on as I heard you and Ploy talking the other day. I get a hint hearing this boy's name often and from that ruckus that happened outside our house the other day were the boy who hit you was also screaming Mark's name . I wasn't your mother if I wasn't able to feel your uneasiness this past few days, baby. My heart was also suffering seeing you in pain."