Perfect Now [l.t]

Christmas sleepover⛅️

JAYS POV
"Esme's here!" May shouts up the stairs at me.
Rolling my eyes, I shout back, albeit with less enthusiasm. "Coming."
I don't understand why we have to do this stupid christmas sleepover because frankly, I'm really not in the mood but apparently May said it would be good to have some 'girl time'. It's not like we all see each other everyday or anything.

Thundering down the stairs, I throw open the front door and see Es stood with what looks like a huge mixing bowl and ingredients for... "Christmas cookies!" Is the first thing she exclaims, walking past me, heading straight for the kitchen.
"Hi to you too Es." I call after her, closing the door before trailing after her.

"Ok so Jay, first up we've got christmas cookies, as you can see, and then we can make eggnog too and then we can design our own baubles and then we can decorate the tree and then we can watch christmas movies and then-" Esme babbles as soon as I step into the kitchen.
"Woah woah woah, calm down Es, don't run out of breath." I raise my eyebrows as she pulls a sheepish look.
"I just want you- want us all to have a good time, that's all."
"We know Es." May replies.

I glance at Esme and see her looking at the floor dejectedly. My heart pangs as I realise I hurt her with my passing comment, I didn't mean to take my bad mood out on her. Taking a deep breath, I try to smile. "Okay then, let's start on the cookies?"
Esme's face brightens up. "Yes!"

Later on, we're gathered in the living room eating cookies and sipping eggnog - which I don't particularly like as I think it's gross - having a break from the activities.

"So how's Harry?" May asks Esme.
"He's really good, I know I only just saw him but I miss him already!" She gushes, her cheeks turning a light pink. "And today because it's 12 days before Christmas I could finally open the first envelope in the box he gave me; it was a cute little card with a partridge in a pear tree with a cute message inside."
"Awh that's adorable Es!" May exclaims, holding her hands to her chest.

And it is. It is adorable. But the mention of Harry just reminds me of Louis and all my emotions towards him.

"But enough about Harry, how are you coping with what Louis posted Jay?" Es asks the question I thought she would never ask.
"Oh- well erm- I guess I'm ok." I lie.

Esme and May exchange a disbelieving look.
"Oh yeah and that's why you posted that picture of you and Ryan, nothing to do with trying to make Louis jealous or anything." May rolls her eyes.
"I never said anything that would make him jealous or implying that Ryan and I were anything but friends." I defend.
Es raises her eyebrows and turns to me. "'his kiss will mend my broken heart' Hmm. Sounds a lot like you're implying something Jay when we all know Ryan is just your best friend."
I glare at her.
"Okay fine, maybe I just wanted to show Louis I'm better off without him too. Since he's so keen to show that to me." Their expressions soften as my eyes involuntarily tear up.

Suddenly, I'm wrapped in an embrace with the two of them.
"It's okay, I believe that if you and Louis are meant to be. You will be. I promise." May strokes my hair.
"Yes. And you're definitely meant to be. Even Harry said so!" Esme exclaims, pulling back slightly so she can look at you properly.
"He did?"
"Yep. He said Louis has been miserable without you, even though he has Eleanor or whatever. Harry said it's not the same."
May smiles. "See! I knew Louis still has feelings for you, don't stress Jay!"

My heart is pounding at the thought that I might still have a chance because I've never felt this way about anyone and I do not want to know who I would become if I've lost him forever. I would do anything to have him back.