Perfect Now [l.t]

Perfect now⛅️

JAY'S POV
I feel him walk towards me, ending up on my left, our hands close together as we both hold on to the railing.
"I just thought I'd come and check on you because you seemed a bit upset when you left." In my peripheral vision, I see his eyes quickly flick over to me. It's easier for me if I just keep looking ahead for now.

We spend a few minutes in silence and although it hurts to admit, even silence with him still brings me comfort. But it doesn't cancel out the pain I still feel.

Giving in, I sigh and turn to look at him. "Won't your girlfriend be wondering where you've gone?"
"She's not here." He keeps his eyeline directly ahead of him.
"Oh." I watch him, trying to gauge his emotions but he's unreadable. "Why?"
"I broke up with her." He turns to face me.

Those five words echo round my head. He broke up with her? Why?

"I'm sorry." I finally say.
"Don't be. I'm not." The corner of his mouth slightly turns up for a second before returning to its normal state.
I'm not sure what to make of that.

We lapse into silence once more as we both look away from each other.
I hear him take a deep breath. "You know El really was just a friend at the start Jay, I would have never done that to you."
"Done what to me?"
"I don't know." His arm brushes mine as he shrugs. "Betrayed you like that? Kissed you and then started seeing someone else behind your back?"
"Well that's kind of what it looked like. I mean you did end up dating her so what was I supposed to think Louis."

He's silent then. Almost as if he's contemplating his words, trying to form the sentences in his mind. Then, he turns to face me once again.

"I don't know how you'll ever believe me but I promise you. El was just a friend. And for weeks after you and I fell out, she was still just a friend. I didn't even give her the time of day for a while because I didn't want anything to do with the girl who ruined what we had, Jay. But then, when you still wouldn't respond to me, it was nice to have another friend, someone to talk to. I guess things just developed and before I knew it, we were dating. But I never stopped wanting you Jay. When I saw the post with your new boyfriend, it really hurt, hurt me so much that I knew it wasn't fair to El to stay with her when my heart was clearly still with you. It's always been with you Jay. Always."
He takes a deep breath, it's like a physical weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

At some point during his speech, tears had begun to roll down my face, smudging my makeup as they go. I don't know how I'm supposed to even respond to that. My heart hurts at the thought that I was wrong, that Louis didn't do anything to purposely hurt me, that he did like me after all.

"Do you really mean all that?" I whisper.
He reaches a hand out and cups my cheek. "Every word."
"He's not my boyfriend." I blurt out.
"What?" He chuckles.
"The boy I posted, he's not my boyfriend, he's just my best friend. I was trying t-to-" I look down, ashamed. "to show you I didn't miss you when in fact I missed you more than I ever thought I could miss anyone."

His hand loops under my chin, lifting my gaze back to meet his. "Why didn't you just reach out to me? I would've dropped everything to be with you Jay."
I shrug, sadly. "I didn't know that. I thought you didn't like me. I didn't want to put myself through more pain."
His thumb swipes away a tear.
"I hate seeing you cry."
"Well I hate having you see me cry. I probably look like a state right now."
"No, even when you're crying, you're perfect."

I sniff, a watery smile taking over my face. "Thanks Louis."
"Anytime Jay." He leans in close, his words a whisper on my skin as I close the gap and our lips meet in the middle.

Instantly becoming a puddle, I melt into the kiss and suddenly nothing else matters anymore.

I know now that everything we've been through has happened for a reason. I know how Louis really feels about me. Nothing can change that anymore.

My heart flutters at the thought of what could become of us, the thought of our future together. But as of this moment, this kiss with Louis is all I could dream of.

Slowly, he pulls away.
"We'll be okay won't we Jay?" He murmurs, his eyes peering into mine.
"Yeah, I think we will be." I smile.
"And you? Are you okay?"
"More than okay. I'm perfect now."
Louis' smile widens as he picks me up and spins me round, the sound of our laughter echoing through the night air.
"Perfect now." He says. "I like that."

THE END