I still haven't spoken to him.to be honest I have barely spoken to anyone in the past week.I'm meeting Tubbo today in Brighton so I have to get up early.I rub my eyes and try waking myself up.I lay for a moment staring up at the ceiling trying to calm down my anxiety.I'm happy that today I'm going to be able to let out my emotions and finally come to terms with things but there's also the side that's telling me not to do it.the scare that Toby maybe going and telling Tommy about what I have said then it all being even more of a mistake.I know this is very unlikely as even though myself and Toby have only met each other once I feel I can tell him anything.like we just fit together.
I eventually get out of bed and go straight to the bathroom.I hop right into the shower as I haven't been motivated to have one in a while.I let the warm water trickle down my body as I wash my hair.I can't help but think about him all the time.just brushing my teeth reminds me of the time we stayed together in Brighton.I squeezed the shampoo into my hand and smooth it over the top of my head.the fruity sent fills my nose and I'm instantly transported to a time with him.the time when I used to lay on his chest and memories the pattern of his heart beat.his cologne.that's what it smells like.it brings back happy memories.which are now being over written with the sad ones.
I get out and put on my outfit for the day.I chose something that was warm as the weather wasn't the best and it was most probably going to be cold on the beach.I decided on a pair of cream trousers with a Gucci belt,a brown long sleeve roll neck and I throw on a long cream jacket over the top.
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I quickly dry my hair and curl it before putting it in a ponytail that sits just in the middle of my head.I decided on simple makeup as I know the wind will instantly make my eyes water so it's no use doing a lot.I do a simple brown Smokey eyeliner and just throw on some lipgloss.
I put my airpods in as I make my way to the train station.I'm quite lucky where I live because it's very local.the sea is close and there is a lot of different modes of transport which is great as it's easier to get to places if you don't drive like me.I arrive and pay for my ticket before making my way to the platform.I'm a bit early so I sit on one of the benches and wait for my train.
One of my favourite songs come on which instantly puts me in a trance.I close my eyes and just let the words and beat travel through my body.Im startled by a light tap on my shoulder,I immediately open my eyes and see a young boy about the age of eleven just standing there.
"Are you tommyinnits girlfriend"he says in a London accent
"I...uh...yeah I am"I say covering up my anxiety with a smile
"Oh well I saw your stream with him and you looked like a right bitch"I was taken aback by his words.the fact he is a young boy and talking like that is very unacceptable
"Um...where's you parents"I ask
"It's none of your business....why would I tell that to a stranger anyway"my anxiety instantly starts to climb as I feel intimidated by him
