The Destruction of Love

The Pool

Josephine POV

I've been sitting here for about thirty minutes just staring at the words written in the magazine. I re-read them over and over again. I also replay Hero and I's phone conversation. I'm not entirely sure how to feel about all of this. I also can't believe I broke down the walls that I've built around me all these years.

I haven't cried in about three years. Well, I've let out a few tears but not full-on sobbing like I am right now. Only he can do this to me. I can't believe Hero still loves me despite all the hell that I've put him through. I still love him too. There's no need for me to deny it. I still love him even though it may not seem like it I do.

Then just be with him, my subconscious adds. If only it were that simple. I've hurt him too much. I've thought about giving us a second chance but every time the idea crossed my mind I remember all of the pain we've been through, our baby's loss, and well the guilt that I feel every time I look at him.

I want to be with him but I'm also afraid. I know that my decision to leave him was reckless. I shouldn't have left him, I should have stayed but alas you can't change the past.

This is another problem Hero and I have as a couple. When things go downhill in our relationship we go in circles. It's like a never-ending cycle of us simply just being afraid to be with each other because we're afraid we'll hurt each other.

I look down at the magazine that's been sitting on my lap for the past hour. I close the magazine and look at the cover of the magazine. I trace Hero's perfect features with my index fingers. I start with his long brown hair and admire how long it's gotten in the last couple of years. I giggle at the one thing that hasn't changed about his hair: that one strand of hair that hangs loosely on his forehead. I then trace his long and perfect eyelashes and his green eyes.

Those green eyes would look at me with so much love or would stare at me with such intensity. Those green eyes would admire every step I would take. Those green eyes would lust for me every chance he got. Those green eyes captivated me every time I saw them.

Then I go to his full pink lips. Those lips that would kiss me. Those lips with just one simple word could make my entire world. Those lips could kiss all of my worries away and make me forget everything and the only focus would be the movement of his lips. Those lips kiss my forehead every morning. Those lips formed the brightest smile I have ever seen. Those lips that when the words "I love you" fell out of my lips would scratch that my entire world.

I bring the magazine up to my chest and clutch it up against my chest. I close my eyes and finally let myself let out all of the tears I have been holding back since I read Hero's words.

I'm thankful mum and dad no longer live with me here in Australia. When I left Hero six years ago mum and dad had no idea I was here in Australia. They didn't find out until a couple of months later. I was rushed to the hospital because I was very weak and hadn't eaten.

I told the staff members not to tell mum and dad I was here. They kept their word up until I was rushed to the hospital. Mum and dad got on a plane as soon as they found out. They weren't very happy, to say the least.

They were worried sick they haven't heard from me in months. They told me that we were going to fly to London as soon as I was better. I explained to them why I left Hero. They weren't too pleased with my excuse but they eventually gave in and agreed to not tell Hero anything. They told me that Hero and I must remain married. That was the only option they gave me and I gave in.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I hear a knock coming from my door. I wipe the tears from my eyes and go over to my mirror and check to make sure my eyes aren't too bloodshot.