The Destruction of Love

The Cruise

Josephine POV

After the whole party incident everyone know thinks Hero and me are a thing.When that's not even close to the case.Hero and me well I'm not sure what we are but I really want to know.

Hero and me have been either avoiding each other.The only time Hero actually comes and says something to me is when he drags into some room whether it be his bedroom or the bathroom and starts assaulting my neck.

We haven't actually kissed not that I haven't want to but every time I try to kiss Hero or to get to do something more with him.

He immediately pulls away and guilt pools his perfect face and he apologies and leaves me alone to my scattered thoughts.

I've come to think Hero doesn't want to crops the line with me because he doesn't want to be disrespectful because he knows I've never done anything with anyone.

I sigh and zip my suitcase it's been a week since Annika's party.

Today we are suppose to go on a cruise well not really a cruise me and Hero are only going to be on the yacht for the weekend then our parents will go away for the whole week.

******

The Fiennes have one of the most luxurious and biggest yachts ever.It's beautiful and is all white.

I am taken to my room which has a white bed in the middle, and a night stand next to the bed, and it has a window to see under the ocean.

I put all of my things away and decide to go up and enjoy the beautiful view of the ocean.

I've been avoiding the inevitable.I know have a lot of things to think about and I a lot of decisions I need to make.

I get to the top of the yacht and go to the edge and out my hands on the railing.I sigh just enjoying the amazing feeling of the ocean.

I want to feel free again.I haven't had the sense of freedom and peace ever since we left Perth.My mind and heart have been in a constant war.

I decide to go for a swim even though the water might be freezing I don't care.I've been feeling really numb lately like nothing really matters.I'm in a really dark place right now.

I haven't really shown it because I put on this mask and everyone just assumes I'm fine but I'm not.

I step out of my jeans and sweatshirt and throw my shoes to the sides.I knew we were going to be swimming so I threw on a black two piece bikini.

I'm here at the edge of the yacht getting ready to jump.

This is crazy.

My subconscious reminds but I don't care I need to feel something anything.I've been numb for the past couple of days hell the past couple of weeks.

I jump and yet I still don't feel the cold water or even when I land.

I swim underwater for a few minutes trying to feel something anything.Cold, discomfort, pain anything yet it doesn't come.

I get back to the surface and climb back on top the yacht.

I grab my clothes and get out of there frustrated I was really hoping the cruise would help me feel something.I was hoping that maybe swimming could help me get better back to feeling something but no such luck.