The Destruction of Love

The Letter

Hero POV

3 days later

I sit and stare for what feels like the hours or even days at the letter that Jo gave me. I mean it had been only three days since Jo and I saw each other and to say I've been lonely without would be a complete understatement. I miss feeling her warm and soft body pressed up against mine. Her steady breath fanning my chest. Her small soft arms wrapped around my waist, her leg draped over mine. I'm losing my shit here!

Every night I come home to a dark and cold penthouse. It's like I can feel her absence. My life without her isn't the same, it's simply just meaningless. Mine and Jo's relationship has been a roller coaster but with that roller coaster comes a trail of happiness, excitement, adventure, and most of all her.

Her being with me is my greatest reward I could ever have. I don't why the fuck we keep pushing each other away. It shouldn't be this hard. The relationship should simply be us admitting we want to be together and that's final. But of course, we're not like most couples were Hero and Jo and were messy and complicated.

When I was in Australia my plan was simple. I'll fight for her till the end but that all changed when she told me why she left me six years ago. After hearing every word she said I just couldn't handle it, it was too much. I thought that her telling me the truth would put my mind at ease but it simply did the opposite.

When she said she felt like she was alone throughout all of it I felt I was punched in the stomach. What the fuck does she mean she was alone I wouldn't leave her side? All I did was wallow in our pain together and just hug her. She said we were both grieving differently but that also wasn't true I was grieving just as bad as she was. All I thought about was how unfair it was that our baby was taken from us.

Jo just made up a bunch of bullshit excuses. The real reason she left me was that the pain was too much for her. I brought her so many memories of our dead baby. She just wanted an escape from the pain and her only escape was to leave me and go back home. Jo didn't want to admit this to me or even to herself but I know her better than anyone so it wasn't too hard to figure it out.

I couldn't be with Jo just yet I need time and space away from her. It hurt that she thought I wasn't there for her plus her commitment issues won't allow her. I'm always thinking about her and her needs. I'm always thinking about how I can make Jo happy? Or how I can get her to be with me? In conclusion, all I thought of was her and her needs never mine.

I needed to choose myself for once. I need her to be the one to fight for us but giving our history I'll eventually give in to her and fly back to Australia. It won't be long before I throw all my dignity and morals out the window and go beg to be with me. I know I'm just shitting myself into thinking this time will be different. Each and every single fucking time it's the same thing me begging her to be with me.

That is why I'm currently sitting in my dark penthouse on the living room couch drinking whiskey and just staring at the letter Jo has as if it was the first dinosaur bone that had been discovered on planet earth. I've been contemplating whether I should read this letter or not. I'm afraid that if I do it'll break me even more or I'll run back into her arms like the whipped fucker I am.

She said to open it when I feel like the time is right but lets if being completely honest with myself It'll never be the right time. The days will go by and then I'll never open it and then it'll end up somewhere in this penthouse and knowing me I'll lose it. So it may be best to read it now that I'm feeling a little buzzed from the three glasses of whiskey I consumed.

I normally don't drink but I've had a long fucking day at work and coming home to the emptiness was enough for me to want to take off the edge. I know I'm going to regret this later but I need to know what she wrote in there. It's been driving me crazy to not know what's in there. I wanted to wait until I was ready and I forgave her to see what was in that letter but I couldn't it's driving me bloody insane!