Therapist • KTH ✔

40. Pain

🌺
Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong.
🌺

Amy's POV

"What's going on with you, Amy? I don't want this. I want us to be happy. Please don't do this to us," Taehyung said with tears in his eyes.

I want us to be happy too. I love you so much, and I know this will hurt, but I don't know what else to do. This is how it is supposed to be.

I got out of the car, and Taehyung told me to get back in and that he would drop me home. All through the ride, I didn't look at him. The pain tore me into pieces. My heart ached to look at him, to talk to him, to laugh with him and to hold his hands and kiss him. But I couldn't do any of it. I cried inside. I sat in misery, wishing the ride came to an end soon. There was a borderline battle happening within my broken heart with all the bitter emotions fighting it out, not knowing which one should manifest first.

We reached my house, and I bid goodbye to Taehyung, longingly looking at him one last time as I got out of the car. The sight of his teary eyes was making my heart wrench within, wanting to hold him and comfort him and kiss him better.

I rushed upstairs where Jay was in the kitchen. Crashing on the couch, I buried my face in the cushion and burst into tears.

Jay came out of the kitchen.
"Hey, babe...you're ba-" she saw me crying on the couch and rushed to my side.

"Amy... Amy... babe... what happened? Why are you crying? Honey, please tell me," she shook me helplessly, her own voice cracking.

Lifting my torso off the couch, I hugged Jay tight and cried my lungs out, my tears bursting out as if a dam broke. She kept rubbing my back and telling me that it would be okay. After a while of bawling my lungs out, I felt so exhausted to even cry. Jay said she'd bring me some water and went into the kitchen.

I got up from the couch, and my head reeled, my vision blurred, and my feet wobbled. I felt the whole room was spinning around me, and the last thing I knew was I crashed to the floor.

*a little later*

"Amy, can you hear me?" Jay softly called out to me.

"Yeah," I nodded weakly, sitting up leaned against the headboard of the bed.

"Here, drink this soup slowly. We'll talk about whatever it is later," she said, handing over a big bowl of soup to me. Jay sat by my side and stroked my head.

My tummy rumbled, and I realized that I hadn't eaten anything all day. I quietly finished the soup and felt a lot better once I was done. Jay took the bowl from me and walked back into the room a while later.

"Are you feeling better, Amy?" She asked softly.

"Yeah, Jay... a lot better. Thank you so much," I nodded looking down, already feeling the pain from the day's events stabbing me in the chest.

She gave a tired smile and said,
"Amy, relax, babe. You can tell me when you feel like it, okay? I'm always here."

My eyes welled up, and I quickly grabbed some tissues. Jay held my hand and sat next to me till I stopped sniffing and spoke to her.
"Babe... I think me and Taehyung will never be a thing," I sniffed sadly.

"What happened?" She asked calmly.

I told her everything that happened since I went over to stay with Taehyung last evening.

"So, this Ah Ra is the same girl he was interested in in the past?" She quizzed curiously.

"Yeah," I nodded, wiping off my non-stop tears.

She frowned and sighed helplessly.
"Babe, honestly, it's a tricky situation. I don't know what to say. I was so happy that you found your happiness. But his career is foremost. Do you think you can move on?"

"I don't think I should even think about whether I can move on or not. I have to. There's no choice. I have to let go of Taehyung. Jay, some things which Ah Ra said today were so true though. I know shit about celebrity life. I can't imagine myself on the red carpet with him in the future. I don't think we were ever meant to be. Not thinking low of myself or anything, but Taehyung truly deserves someone better than me in all aspects. Maybe this was an accident in life. I have to recover from the injuries," I spoke as my tears kept rolling down my cheeks.

"Honey, please don't say so. It really hurts my heart. You're such an amazing person. Taehyung loves you a lot too. True love always finds its way. Don't exhaust yourself and just let things be. If it's meant to be, it will definitely happen. It is not your fault, babe," she stroked my hands and spoke comfortingly.

"Of course, it is my fault, Jay. I never wanted us to be anything more than just a patient and a therapist. But I broke all my promises that I made to myself. I wavered and lost control of everything. I fell in love with him. We fell in love with each other. It was never forced, but it could've never happened if I had stayed strong. I was desperate for love. Desperate to find a supportive shoulder to lean on. I lost control and lost myself," I cried louder, wishing that everything was just a horrendous nightmare.

"Amy, please don't be so harsh on yourself. It isn't your fault. You didn't lose yourself. You found your happiness in him. If not for this bitch, Ah Ra, you would've been the happiest love birds. Let things be as is for now. You relax and try to get some sleep, okay?" Jay said and handed me a sleeping pill, knowing fully well that I wouldn't sleep otherwise. I sent an e-mail to my team that I wouldn't be coming to work for a couple of days.

Popping in the sleeping pill, I lay down not knowing what to do next. My mind was full of Taehyung, and after a long while I drifted to sleep only because of the pill.

»»-----　⚜　-----««

Please remember to vote.
❤

Jay and Amy are such goals. Everyone deserves a Jay.
🤧💖