Therapist • KTH ✔

41. Suspicion

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I just need someone who won't give up when loving me gets hard.
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Taehyung's POV
Still June 29, 2020

Amy left in a hurry, leaving me confused and longing for her loving touch. I came back home as if in a trance and flopped on the couch, unable to fathom a proper reason for her actions and words.

What made her do this? She is not the kind of person to let go so easily. She was definitely hiding something from me. What was it? If Ah Ra was not the problem, then what could it be?

I texted her, and she didn’t read it. My head hurt as if a few nuclear bombs had exploded within my skull. Entering my bedroom, I undressed and went to take a shower.

Everywhere that I saw reminded me of Amy—the kitchen, the dining table, the couch, my bed, even my own body reminded me of her.

After the shower, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. The one-day old love marks on my neck and chest were staring back at me. I delicately ran my fingertips over the marks. It hurt my heart to think that she wouldn't be leaving any more of those on me anytime soon. My heart ached to see her and hold her, and my body longed for her touch and her love.

I cried all alone.

Wearing Amy's sweater, I drifted off to sleep.

June 30, 2020

I texted her this morning, and she read all my text messages but didn't reply. It was frustrating and left me clueless to say the least. I called her a few times too, and obviously she didn't answer my calls as well.

What do I do? How would I know why she is doing this? Surely there must be a reason. She must have told everything to Jay. Should I meet up and ask her? But I have no idea where Jay works.

Feeling utterly confused, annoyed, distraught and lost, I was lying like a lifeless blob on the couch when my phone rang. Eagerly grabbing the phone, hoping it was Amy, I saw that the call was from the unsaved number that belonged to Ah Ra.

Ugh! What does she want now?

Even the thought of hearing any voice that wasn't Amy's irritated me. I didn’t bother to answer her call, and in a while, it got disconnected on its own, and it was immediately followed by a text from her. Throwing my phone in a corner, I didn't bother to read the texts from her. I only wanted to set things back to normal between me and Amy. Nothing else was on my mind.

Spending an entire day thinking only about Amy and everything that happened, I decided that she would surely miss me as much as I missed her. She would reply to my texts soon. We were so deep in love, and it was not a dream or a joke.

I trusted our love more than anything else.

July 1, 2020
Amy's POV

Staying at home didn't help one bit; I missed him like hell, and every inch of my mind, body and heart longed to be with him. Every moment we spent with each other was true. Taehyung occupied all my thoughts, and I just couldn't bring myself to think of anything else.

I finally made up my mind that some distraction would help me get over this and decided that going to work would be a better option than staying at home and letting my messed-up mind hallucinate things.

Jul 15, 2020

The past couple of weeks were full of tears. While at work, I survived like a zombie, and back at home, I ugly cried myself to sleep each night. I couldn't eat well. Surely my love for him was true. I didn't want his name and fame to be tarnished for my selfishness, and I kept telling myself each day that I did the right thing, but to no avail. Nothing changed.