Mischief Managed Y2 Part 2: The Truth of the Tournament

Chapter Twelve: Marauders for Life

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Sirius trailed behind when they entered the castle. James glanced back at him but he subtly shook his head and the smart chaser nodded in understanding, turning back around and talking to Peter.

"Are...you doing alright?" he asked Remus hesitantly.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Remus replied cheerfully, the sort of false cheerfulness that Sirius wondered why he bothered with around him.

"That's bollocks and you know it," Sirius retorted and Remus let his smile slip.

"Sorry."

"Whatever for?" Sirius asked, surprised to see guilt in his friend's eyes. What the bloody hell did he have to be guilty about?

Remus gestured to himself a bit helplessly. Sirius was forced to re-remember what had caused his friend to start sobbing in a completely embarrassing manner all those months ago, the real cause. Remus Lupin hated himself. Not the sort of "ugh, I hate myself," attitude that seemed to be cropping up their year and the years above prompted by pimples or bad hair days. Sirius suspected, and feared, that Remus' hate seeped deep down past what the heir reckoned he had ever felt with his periods of deep self-loathing caused by his family. Sirius wanted desperately for this not to be the case, nor was he entirely sure what to do about it. He just knew it broke his heart.

"You guys go ahead," Sirius called, unsurprised when James and Peter didn't miss a beat. The shy boy paled, which Sirius thought a little uncalled for, and took several steps back.

"Sirius...it's a holiday, right? Let's just have a good time, yeah?" Remus protested, raising his hands slightly in front of himself to prevent...what? He didn't think Black was going to hurt him, did he? Sirius tried to stay calm, knowing it wasn't Remus' fault he hated himself. In fact he actually had a pretty damn good idea of whose fault it was. But staying calm wasn't exactly something Sirius excelled at. He lunged forward, grabbing the surprised lad's wrist and dragging him the opposite way of James and Peter, unsure where he was headed exactly. There wasn't exactly a place they could talk privately at this time of day, was there?

Unless there was.

"Sirius, I won't run. You can let go...you already know everything, so there's no point in this," Remus pointed out, but the slightly high pitch as he spoke and the fact that Sirius was painfully aware that if anything he had more questions than ever, caused him to ignore his squirming friend. Careful to keep both of them low as they passed some classrooms which were all in full swing, Sirius made a beeline for the Great Hall, realising no one would be there at this hour.

"Sirius, please...let's just...can't this wait?" Remus pleaded. The stubborn Black shook his head gently, pushing Lupin onto one of the Hufflepuff benches since it was closest, waiting only until the large door swung shut with a satisfying echoing 'thump'.

"Why are you apologizing?" he asked and Remus blinked, caught off guard by what he appeared to find a simple question. Sirius ignored the pang in his heart. He would not dwell on how completely miserable the werewolf's life had been up until now, he would just do his damn best to make it less sucky.

"Because..." Remus glanced around, uncomfortable talking about this in such a wide space even though they were alone. Sirius was pretty sure they were anyways. "Because...my furry little problem is a lot to deal with. None of you should have to--"

Sirius cut him off before he could continue, unsure he could bear for his friend to finish the sentence. "Remus, how many times have I told you that friends are there for each other through thick and thin?"