Chapter Twenty-Three: Common Room Conversations

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"Well?" Sirius asked Remus expectantly, barely making it a whole of thirty seconds after the door to the DADA class shut behind them before asking the question.

"Well, what?" Remus asked, feigning innocence.

"You can talk to them...the wolves...right? Because you're...or your...uh..." Sirius trailed off, an awkwardness taking over him that was painful for Remus to see.

"That's so bloody cool, mate!" James cut in excitedly, spinning around and walking backwards so he could gape at Remus.

The werewolf looked from Sirius' expectant face to James' excited one and weighed his options carefully. Luckily he was able to take a few seconds before responding as James' walking backwards had caused him to bump into Peter, nearly knocking them both over and causing Sirius to burst out laughing. Remus supposed that his friends knowing he could communicate with the wolves would be fine. But he just...didn't want yet another way he was different from them to come to light. Not with it only being a little over a month since Sirius found out and even less since Peter had. He knew they would find it really incredible but he just didn't want to be some sort of...freak...even if they would find it fun. He didn't want them gaping at him as if they expected wolf ears to suddenly pop out of his head or something.

Well maybe they weren't looking at him quite like that but Remus still felt like they were sometimes.

"I don't know what you mean. Dogs and wolves just really like you, Sirius," Remus commented nonchalantly.

For a second Sirius looked upset then he scoffed and rolled his eyes, ts-king at Remus in a mock scolding tone. "Fine, keep your secrets, you prat."

"But surely you can tell us this! I mean it's really awesome," James insisted.

"He wouldn't be Remus without secrets," Peter pointed out slyly. Lupin wasn't entirely sure if Pettigrew was or was not purposefully reminding him of the many secrets he was still keeping from his friends, especially regarding the extent of his injuries after a full moon and shifted uncomfortably. But then Peter smiled playfully so Remus assumed he hadn't meant to make him feel bad.

"Right you are, Peter. I wouldn't even know who Remus was without them!" Sirius exclaimed with mock despair, placing a hand on his head as he lamented foolishly. As Sirius joked around he cast a sidelong look at Remus to see if it was bothering him. It sounded as if the heir was trying to make himself feel better at what seemed to be a constant surprise to him that just because they knew some things about the werewolf didn't mean they got to know everything. At least Remus was almost certain that that's how friendships could be, even with the best of mates.

Remus felt a twinge of irritation at Sirius' dramatic tone but mostly just felt guilty because it seemed he was composed of so many secrets. Too many secrets. Secrets even from himself. His stomach lurched and he pushed his thoughts away from the newest piece of information he had found out about his past memories, or precisely his lack of them.

"Surely I'm not that bad," Remus sighed heavily, feeling utterly worn out. He was both extremely glad he was at Hogwarts but the fact that the second Triwizard Tournament task hadn't even taken place yet and there was already so much drama made him feel like he was dragging a troll behind him that liked to amuse itself by whacking the werewolf's head repeatedly with its club.

Sirius scoffed and made a comment about how they had literally only found out about Remus' birthday after it had happened last year as if that proved his point entirely. Remus didn't quite understand and found himself feeling defensive again. Maybe he wouldn't have had to keep his secrets so long if Sirius hadn't been so full of hatred toward dark creatures. Remus was surprised at the anger he was feeling again. What was wrong with him?

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