No strings attached

Pt.25- Cutting loose ties.

A few long, excruciating days passed that were filled with angst and a bit of confusion. The elder man couldn't figure out where to take things from here. He knew what he didn't want but not what he wanted. It was irritating to say the least.

Certainly, he enjoyed having Takafumi around. It was a change he'd become accustomed too. Before he met the younger man he'd spend all day at work and only focus on that but now, he did other things with his spare time and was beginning to appreciate the simplicity of some things.

In a way, Yokozawa had humbled him.

He was never insensitive, but maybe he'd forgotten what it was like to have to struggle. Something he was brutally reminded of.

There were so many things that had changed. So many unexpected twists and turns in this path that left him feeling lost, stranded. Perhaps it was because he was questioning where his self-resolve had gone. He was the one who'd agreed to all of this.

He was the one who'd forced Yokozawa to be his fuck buddy. He made him accept these terms and conditions with no strings attatched. Throughout this whole ordeal, he never once thought about how the other might be feeling.

It was definitely selfish even if they were using eachother for personal gain. But that was in the beginning, what were they using each other for now? Of course he liked Yokozawa's body, as well as the man in general, but like didn't cover it. Neither one of them was stupid, if they were simply using each other for commodity, none of this would be going on.

These foriegn feelings wouldn't be plaguing him and he could still be his usual self- his old self.

Is that what he wanted though?

He didn't know.

But if one thing was ensured, he didn't want to do this anymore.

He didn't want to be in this relationship anymore. Not only was it unconventional, it was beginning to tear him apart. He didn't want to deal with what it entailed.

To put it simply he was tired.

Tired of having his own motives called into question.

With a weary sigh, he stood up from his office desk and was about to head out but a knock at his door had him halting. "Come in." He said, his tone a bit impatient, almost agitated.

"S-sorry if I interrupted you, Kirishima-san." Hemni quickly apologized, shuffling into the room and closing the door behind him. "It's just that... some of the other workers are worried about you. For the past few days you've been acting strange."

"What do you mean?" Hazel eyes darkened, and while he'd asked for more elaboration, his face showed he wasn't in the mood. Contrary to what he'd asked, he really didn't want to know what the workers had picked up on because he already knew.

"You just don't seem as focused as you used to. A couple of months ago you started leaving work early, but you looked happy so no one said anything.  We were happy for you. Now you seem depressed. Is something the matter? Are you ok?"

So his employees had noticed something was going on?

Of course. Leave it to the people who couldn't even do their work to figure out something in his personal life was bothering him.

"I'm fine. I just have something I need to take care of. To be honest, I should've taken care of it a while back, but it's better late than never." Kirishima said, a fake smile on his face as he stood up and walked past Hemni. Without even looking back, he paused at the door. "Lock up for me again. I won't be returning today."