Ang Bakla kong Boyfriend

We've Lost It

       I am sorry for not updating when I just said I will. Don't worry tho, I'm going to finish this as soon as I can but i am not sure if this is going to be done before the end of the month (in may). Anyways for my readers,viewers, silent readers and all. I am here to thank you all for reading this book of mine..

Drie

Few weeks.. In that few weeks both of us clearly see how our relationship is getting more toxic and Toxic.. Now is the day I'm going to confront him.. In Front of our so-called house, this is my first ever time getting nervous about getting inside.

*Drie No retreat, no surrender. Kaya mo iyan*

I got inside. Saw Maddie and Kay, talking.. Not a big deal because they are just friends, ayon ang sabi ni Maddi, she won't allow me to call her Mara kasi we're not that much close but we're trying. Sometimes it's just Maddie or Rain. Their talk seems serious though

"Kay" pagtawag ko ng pabulong sa kanya, dahil ayaw ko makaistorbo sa kanilang dalawa. I'm walking- sneaking into them actually. Then suddenly Maddie started crying, I see how Kay cared for her. Too much, that's more than enough to prove me I'm right.

I immediately ignore my negative thoughts and go for Maddie. "Hey, what happened?" I also hug her, meaning that she can open up to me. "Kay can you leave us alone?" she ordered tor Kay. Lumabas naman agad ito. "So ano na nga ang nangyari." muling pag-tanong ko. "Drie si Bry. Iniwan nya na ako.." biglang bumuhos ang kanyang mga luha matapos iyon sabihin.

Naguluhan naman ako. "Huh? Wala na si Bry? Pano?" hinihintay ko ang pag sagot nya. "May minamahal syang iba, wala na kami. Simula pa lang naman handa na akong bumitaw para lang sa kanya, pero hindi ko inakala na ganun kabilis. Minahal ko naman sya eh, hindi pa rin ba ako sapat? Drie may kulang ba sakin? MERON BA?" humihikbi na ito.

Umiling ako dahil wala naman talaga siyang pagkukulang. Sadyang may minahal na iba yung tao. "Ikaw? May kulang, wala. As in, kita mo sayo pa kaya kaming naiinggit nila Mitch eh" she paused "Ako, bakit naman?" "Kasi nasa iyo ang wala sa amin, matalino ko na wala kay.. Alam mo na" natawa naman sya sa sinabi ko.

"Napaka-galing mo pa magluto, isa pa yon. Kaya inggit si Raven sayo eh. Isa pa marunong ka sa mga sports na yan. Magaling ka rin sa Arts. Hindi ko alam anong mali sayo pero kay Bry meron. Asa harap nya na yung babaeng pinapangarap ng iba, iniwan nya pa diba. Nako, lagot talaga yon sakin." napangiti ko na si Maddie.

"Thank you Drie.. Thank you so much and I'm sorry." sorry? "Bakit ka nagsosorry?" "Kay kissed me" *Kaya naman pala sorry.. It's not her fault. I do not want to be the girl who don't think before doing an act* "A-ayos lang. Sya naman nag insist diba?" I said trying not to break down after she broke down. She nodded, I see in her that she's really feeling sorry and that she didn't mean it.

"Please sorry Drie, di nya lang siguro sinasadya. Baka-" cutting her off I say "Not to be rude or anything pero pwede ka ng umalis andyan lang yung pinto. Lakad ka lang ng konti." she seems worried and shocked. Kahit ako ay nagulat rin sa biglaang kong nasabi. Dumeretso na sya sa pinto "Sorry! It slipped out!" I shouted and she nodded in response. Tuluyan na syang nawala sa paningin ko.

Kay suddenly came inside furiously. He looks mad- "Pina-uwi mo na agad si Mara?!" oh he's mad now huh. "Oo, may angal?!" he hissed "You are so childish Yumi!" I know it's serious when he call me by my name. "What's so childish about that Kay?!" He's getting me mad now. "Oh! Ikaw! Ikaw yung childish Yumi, may pinagdadaanan yung tao. Hindi mo man lang hinayaan rito saglit tapos pinaalis mo pa ano bang nangyari at naging ganyan ka-"

"Ikaw Kay! She's fine! I made her feel okay and better. Tapos malalaman ko lang hinalikan mo sya and you also insisted. Andito naman ako diba? I thought I'm the one you're longing for?!" His expression changed "You know what, you're jealous aren't you. Gabi na, paano kung may nangyari dun?" changing the topic.I see "Oh come on Kay you know ikaw yung mali kaso ayaw mo lang tanggapin dahil jan sa napakataas mong pride!"

Silence.. "Ano tama ako noh? Kaya ka siguro tuluyang iniwan ni Nevaeh dahil jan sa napakataas mong pride, you never accept that you're wrong. Hindi mo rin iniisip yung mga nararamdaman namin. Kay, don't let history repeat itself.. Alam mo yon.."

Play now : just because it really suits, pls play it.

~Nangangamba - Zack Tabudlo~

STRIKE.. Tagos puso na yung nasabi ko, alam nyang tama ako. He can't deny it. "Alam mo ayan yung ayaw ko sayo Drie. Every time we fight you're always bringing up her name, baka nga ikaw yung hindi maka-move on dyan. Drie nakakaano ka na, Sobra as in!" galit niyang sabi. "Ano kay?! Ituloy mo!.. Duwag!- "NAKAKASAWA KA, NAKAKAPUNO. INIS NA INIS NA AKO, PAGOD NA AKONG INTINDIHIN KA NA LANG LAGI. You think hindi ka nakakapagod, you think na ikaw lang ang nasasaktan!!?" That's how I know I crossed the line. Sumobra na ako, pero sumobra din naman sya alam nya yon. I need to end this bago pa lumala ng sobra.

"Ano ba ang problema mo.. Sabihin ang totoo. Sabihin mo na nilalaman ng puso mo at nararamdaman nito. Kung 'di pa aminin ang gusto. Baka kasi mawala na ako.."

Stop the audio now, thanks <33

"Napagod na kasi ako Drie, napagod na akong ayusin yung sarili ko pag kasama ka. Kasi takot ako eh, tulad nga ng sabi mo. Duwag ako, tama ka naman don di ko yun made-deny. I kissed her because I never felt something that I am feeling with here whenever she come over, when I say I never felt it. It means it's true, di ko naramdaman yung comfort na nabibigay nya sakin. May comfort ka rin naman binibigay pero hindi mo naman ako sinusubukan intindihin. Parang puro ikaw na lang, that is the comfort I never felt with Nevaeh and you. She gave me that, I realized that I needed her. I'm sorry kasi because I just 'want' you and I never actually needed you. Binigyan naman natin ng chance tong relasyon na toh diba? Maraming beses pa.. Diba bubs?"

I smiled because I know he's right, i already know i lost the moment I realize he needed her more than me. I admit it.. "I'm sorry din, I've become selfish kasi iniisip ko kung ganun ako, akin ka lang. Me and you under these millions stars and no one else, just us. Thank you kasi pinaramdam mo sa akin how it feels being held and holding on. I love you, always..Bubby, hubby and dating wifey rin"

We hugged and laughed things out but also started crying. Alam kong ito na yung part na kailangan ko nang bumitaw sa pinanghahawakan kong putol at sira ng relasyon. "If I did not became a gay, I woould never felt this way. I love you so much, gosh! It's so hard to let go now." we pulled out of the hug and wiped our tears, we are such a mess right now.

"Last night here bubby, wifey ko?" he asked almost on breaking down again. I nodded "Last time ko na rin maririnig yang call sign na yan. Ahh." I deeply sighed. Looking at each other's eyes right now, I think we are thinking about the same thing right now. "Ready.." he said "Set" I said "Go" we both said "Let's break up!" in that moment we release our tears. "I'm sorry" "I love you so much" we say at the same time.

After breaking up officially I also need to sleep here the last time. "Tara na anong oras na" we choose to smile, we choose to be us. Even after such a big argument, we are here at the bed rethinking our memories, both letting out deep sighs. "Good night Kay" "Good night Drie"

I look at him "I loved you Drie, remember that. It's time to let go" 

ps; leting go of a person that is important to you is hard, to make it easier accept that that's the end. All person have a happy ending, remember that! -Ri