Rain was pouring down outside, I could hear it from here. As I was lying on my bed I looked out the window and saw the blurry city lights staring back at me. I want back to lying, more like curling, on top of my fluffy blankets. My phone was on my hand, loading the latest tweets while it beeped because it didn't have enough battery. As usual. I checked my whatsapp.
No new messages.
Well, frankly, I expected it. I don't know why I checked. I guess I had more hope than I reckoned. Anyway, even if any of my few friends talked to me to go to the mall or something, it wouldn't be a good idea. I mean, it was pouring outside.
These past few days the weather had been really weird - and kinda dangerous. It hasn't stop raining for three days in a row, the floods are getting worse... A total disaster. I know you don't really care about the weather here right now. And I don't know why I'm writing this either, I guess I was just bored.
At least, the weather matched my mood.
I log onto Wattpad, my latest obssession, and continue reading my recent story. It was about my favorite boyband that I had been addicted to for three years now. I was somehow relieved that I wasn't the only one of my friends that loved them, because everytime someone 'discovers' I like them, they look at me weird, like mocking me, and I don't like it one bit. The truth is that most of the fans are 13-14 year old pre-teens who are a little ridiculous. And I'm 18. Kind of... childish of me. But oh well, I didn't care.
Back to topic. Oksay, there wasn't even a topic to start with, I'm rambling.
Today's Friday - yay!
No.
Let's introduce myself, shall we?
I'm basically an awkward 18-year-old girl who's wallowing in self-pity on a Friday night lying on her bed while reading on her phone. Awesome. There's nothing more to say about me, really. I'm nothing special.
Truth be told, I had a good amount of things to study for next week, but it was in these moments that I didn't really care. I prefered this numbness. Feeling this loneliness wasn't something new, I had felt alone all my life. Yes, I had my family and friends... But not really.
But it was okay.
Apart from that I didn't have much to tell. My life was boring. I was boring. I couldn't find anything exciting to save my life. Everything was just so dull and I felt so passive, like nothing could surprise me, like I didn't have a reason to smile. I didn't have a reason to cry either. Didn't have a reason to just feel.
And the worst thing was - I didn't know why.
It was this sudden feeling that everything was not worth it, worth living. I don't mean that in a suicidal tone, it's just. I was tired, exhausted, of just existing. I wanted to live.
Sadly, the lack of motivation didn't help.
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saraa
YOU ARE READING
Suddenly, you | Completed
Novela JuvenilNora's life had always been dull and boring. She spent her 18 years of life hidden under a rock not uttering a word. Her greatest fear was to be judged and to not be accepted. When college comes, she hopes her life will take a turn and change for th...