I AM

Chapter 22

"Who are you?" he asked the man standing in front of him.

"I am...Sang Zang."

"Sang Zang...you said you keep Wang Zheng from killing herself. Does that happen often?" Zhao Yunlan asked.

"It was more c-common before, when Shen Wei was a child, and then a f-few times when he was in the States. As a child, Shen Wei w-wanted to escape. When he thought h-he had escaped to the States, he was a-alone and was so lonely. After c-coming back to China, it happened a c-couple times when he thought he was g-getting better, and then lost time. He would be so d-disappointed," Sang Zang's voice was sad. "Wang Zheng w-would sometimes come out, and then I-I would watch over her."

Zhao Yunlan was silent for a minute, trying to digest what Sang Zang had just said. Sister Cheng had briefly mentioned Wang Zheng's suicidal thoughts that night after getting mobbed at the airport. The image of Shen Wei the child, having to endure who knows what at the hands of his uncle and cousin, then feeling alone and abandoned after being shipped off to the States... In addition to all the trauma that caused his psyche to splinter into several personalities to cope, it was no wonder that one of them had thoughts of dying. He looked at Sang Zang, still looking out at the ledge, and he vowed to never let Shen Wei feel so cornered and alone again.

There was one question that Zhao Yunlan had to ask.

"Sang Zang, you seem very strong and confident. You'd have to be to keep people from giving up and dying. There is a reason for everything. What is the reason for your stutter?" Zhao Yunlan kept his voice even.

"Shen Wei d-did not speak for over a year, which was one of the r-reasons his father sent us to the S-States. There was a v-very g-good speech therapist there, as well as a g-good psychoanalyst who tried to h-help us. Shen Wei literally had to l-learn how to speak again; I retain that s-stutter. But it's gotten much b-better...every since meeting you, Zhao Yunlan. You obviously m-mean a lot to Shen Wei, and we all c-can see how much you c-care for him as well," Sang Zang turned to Zhao Yunlan and smiled.

"I-We all care for Shen Wei," Zhao Yunlan hurriedly corrected the "I" to "We." "I think he has started to accept us, and to stop blaming himself as he did in the past. He actually seems...happy at times," he added thoughfully.

The two men stood in silence, both taking in what had been said in the past few minutes. Sang Zang was certainly more verbal than some of the other personalities, Zhao Yunlan realized. If others had heard him speak with a stutter in the past, they would have been quick to judge him as slow-witted. Little did they know how intelligent Sang Zang was.

"T-There is someplace I w-would like you to take me to," Sang Zang started, as he took out his phone and dialed a number, the put it on speakerphone.

The party on the other end picked up on the first ring,.

"Good afternoon, Sir." The other person obviously knew who was calling.

"I r-realize it's quite late, but I'd l-like to come by, m-maybe until it gets too dark to see," Sang Zang said. His tone was apologetic, yet left no room for the other person to refuse.

"There are still a couple hours of day, Sir, and you are also skilled in dim light. I will be waiting for you."

"It's not v-very far from here, but I w-would like to get in an hour or t-two of practice," Sang Zang said as he walked briskly towards the stairs.

"Where are we going?" Zhao Yunlan had to jog to catch up to him.

"I'll g-give you directions," Sang Zang said.

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Sang Zang got into the passenger seat in the front since he had to give Zhao Yunlan directions. Besides the occasional "turn right here," "turn left at the light," the car ride was quite silent. Had Zhao Yunlan's question about the stutter made Sang Zang self-conscious?