Puhon

7

I was doing my morning routine when I heard someone's knock on my door.

"Come in." I said while applying sunscreen on my face. Matapos ay naglipbalm lang ako at nakitang pumasok si Mom sa kwarto ko. She smiled at me. Tumayo ako mula sa vanity table ko at humarap sa kanya. She sat on the couch and looked around my room. Uh, weird.

"Are you sure you won't come with us?" Tanong nito patungkol sa pag alis nila bukas ni Tito Ely papuntang Tagaytay. Last minute nang naisipan nilang mag Coron, Palawan na lang. Muntik pang magbago ang isip ko at sumama! I miss the beach.

I chuckled a bit. I sat beside her and stared at the ceiling of my room. She gently brushed my hair while waiting for my answer. I shook my head as a response. They need a break. Hindi naman ako mabobored habang wala sila dahil nand'yan naman ang mga kaibigan ko, and of course Miguel.

"You can go without me na nga. Also, I plan on going out with my friends habang wala pang masyadong ginagawa." I said.

She nodded. "Denise, what do you think of your biological parents?" Si Mom na nagpabalik ng tingin ko sa kanya. She was just staring at me while playing with my hair. Napalabi ako roon at hindi alam ang isasagot.

I am curious about them. Like, nasaan sila? Did they ever tried to find me? Bakit nila ako iniwan sa orphanage? Bakit hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin sila kilala? Iilan lang yun sa mga tanong na matagal ko nang gustong masagot. I can't deny that there's still a missing piece inside me.

Hindi naman nagkulang sina Mom and Dad sa pagpaparamdam sa akin na hindi nila ako totoong anak. Dad was strict but I knew he loved me. He gave me the things that I have right now. Kahit pa lalaki talaga ang gusto niyang maging anak.

Right now, I am just hoping that my real parents are fine. Kung ano man yung naging decision nila that it results to where I am right now, I always try to understand. I don't know what they've been through. And I don't blame them. It's just that...why?

I want to meet them, I want to know how they are doing. Aren't they curious about me? Malungkot akong napangiti.

"Sino kaya ang kamukha ko sa kanila?" Pabiro akong tumawa para mapagtakpan ang lungkot. Huminto naman si Mom sa paglalaro sa buhok ko at sumandal sa couch. Pareho na kami ngayong nakatingin sa kisame.

Ang sabi ng mga kakilala nina Mom, patagal daw nang patagal ay nagiging kahawig ko ang adoptive mother ko. It was just 3 years ago nang sabihin ng mga amiga niya na kamukhang kamukha ko siya noong mga kabataan niya.

Siguro ganoon talaga? Kapag palagi mong nakakasama ang tao, nagiging magkahawig kayo. My Mom is still beautiful at her age, isa sa mga bagay na hinahangaan ko sa kanya. We have the same eyes and nose. Ang mga labi naman ay mas plump lamang ang akin.

"Nasaan kaya sila?" Tanong kong muli nang nanatiling tahimik ang katabi ko. She sighed and shifted her weight to my side. I looked at her. Mukhang malalim ang iniisip.

Ayokong isipin nila na hindi pa ako kontento sa mga bagay na mayroon ako ngayon. Hindi ko kahit kailan ginustong iparamdam sa kanila na may kulang pa rin akong nararamdaman hanggang ngayon. I own them everything I am right now. Hindi na ako katulad nung Denise sa orphanage na nagpapabully lang at umiiyak sa gilid.

I was that weak before, but Mom and Dad taught me to be strong, and don't let anyone make me feel inferior to them. I was doing fine. Totoo iyon. I love Mom and Dad.... so much.

"They love you. I know they both love you." She answered without looking at me. I know they do. Wala namang magulang ang hindi mahal ang anak.

"It's....it's just that, maybe it was all sudden. I just uh guess." Patuloy niya. Kunot ang noong umiling ako at tumawa nang pagak.