Quid Pro Quo. TaeKook AU

I love you

"You're here early" I mumbled as I let Tae into the building 

"This is the time that I came yesterday" he smiled 

"That was for training purposes, today you don't have to be here until one" 

"Oh" he frowned "is there anything I can help with? Or should I leave?"

"I'm polishing and rolling silverware at the moment. If you want to help that's fine, if not I'll see you at one" 

"I'll help!" He said too excitedly practically yelling at me, he realized that and cleared his throat "I'll help" he said calmly and nodded his head. Why the fuck does he have to be so fucking adorable? I had to bite back a smile, I nodded my head and he followed me into the kitchen, I grabbed a giant tote of silverware and carried it to the corner booth, after showing him what to do we sat in silence and focused on our task at hand 

"Somewhere beyond the sea, somewhere waiting for me, mmmm" he began singing and humming, my heart pounded in my chest at the memory of him singing Sinatra to me upon request after the day I confessed I had been listening to jazz for him. The way he kissed me after my confession and blushed while he looked at me like I held his entire universe in my eyes. 

"Please stop" I mumbled 

"Oh. Sorry" he lowered his head and sat in silence for a moment before clearing his throat "how have you been?"

"Great" I shrugged "Peachy. You?"

"Miserable. But, I'm getting better. Between therapy, medicine, following my own passions, and ultimately walking away from my business.. I'm getting better" 

"Good" I nodded. I tried to play it off as if I was indifferent, but I was so so proud of him, and happy to hear that he was getting help and finding a way to live happily the way I always believed he deserved. 

"You must be doing great" he smiled wide, his eyes looking a bit sad in the process "I'm proud of you that you got your shop up and running. I knew you would" he smiled proudly "I'm proud of you" 

"Thanks, I didn't even have to be compensated for fucking someone to get it either. That's a plus" I threw the rolled silverware into the container a bit too angrily and he winced as he lowered his silverware 

"I owe you an apology, Kookie, I never meant to hurt you like that. Well, I did. Actually, I need to be honest. I did mean to hurt you like that. I needed to push you away and I did" he nodded "it's one of the few regrets that I still have to manage and work through" 

"Is that why you're here? To make amends? Like some sort of fucking therapy for you? Save it. If that is the case you can fucking leave" my eyes stung as tears began to form in my eyes 

"No" he shook his head "I'm here because I love you. I'm here because I want to go back to seeing you everyday, even if you're rude to me, even if you never kiss me again or hold my hand. I just need to see you because not seeing you made me feel like my chest was ripped open and I couldn't breathe. I'm here because the way you looked at me when you left my office that day haunts me every single fucking day. I wanted to pull you in and kiss you and make love to you and never let you go. I'm here because I'm so fucking selfish that I can't let you go. Not again. Not ever" he wiped a tear from his face while I let mine flow with no remorse 

"I'm here because I spent way too much time without you. I'm here because even if I'm only ever your employee, if I can hear your voice, see your smile, make sure you're healthy, hear your laughter, and watch you bloom even without me directly by your side then that's enough for me"