Quid Pro Quo. TaeKook AU

Dumbass

We drove in silence again, he didn't look the least bit interested in anything going on around us. When we arrived at the restaurant we had to hold hands and paint smiles on our faces as we talked to his colleagues, he was less tense this time around in the presence of Namjoon and Sandra which made me worry a bit more if I'm being honest. 

He didn't want to see him, he practically cried over it last night, but here he is breaking bread with them and laughing like he didn't practically have a meltdown the night before. 

"Will we be seeing you guys down at the beach today?" Steve asked as we were all parting ways 

"Of course, is that okay with you kookie?" He asked and I smiled 

"Absolutely! I could use some sun" I chuckled 

"Awww babe! I wanna go too!" Sandra whined as she wrapped her arm around Namjoons bicep 

"Of course" he smiled "see you guys soon" he nodded and got into their car. Tae and I got into the car and as we pulled away he let go of my hand and dropped the fake smile 

"Tae, are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" He shrugged 

"It's just..yesterday was a lot..and I wanted to make sure that you were okay" 

"I'm fine" 

I mulled it over in my mind, and decided maybe I should tell him my story? Maybe it would help? 

"When I was five my mom was hit by a car and died three days later..my father couldn't deal properly with her death and left me at my grandparents house, I never saw him again." I shook my head before continuing

"My grandparents were strict, overly religious, and I was too young, too affectionate, too needy, too loud, and then once I started being quiet, awkward, standoffish, and what they considered perfect, they loved me. So I did my best in school, sports, everything. I even pushed myself through college and walked the path they wanted for me because I just want to be loved.." I closed my eyes and stared out of the window again once I opened them and wiped a stray tear from my cheek "all I ever wanted was to be loved and it put me in some shitty situations and relationships, especially once I realized that I wasn't bisexual, I was just legitimately gay..my grandparents don't know, but once they found out I had lost my job and started making pizza with Jin, our relationship was over anyway" 

"Kook I-"

"I think everyone just wants to be loved right? Like isn't that the ultimate goal in life? Find someone that loves you, get married, spend your lives together. It's hard to imagine having something like that with someone when even your own parents don't love you or never showed you the way to love someone without stomping on their heart. I get it Tae, probably more than you could understand.  But you need to let it go. You need to open yourself up and I'm not even talking about going out and finding a real boyfriend. I'm talking about letting people love you in general and without fear. Kathy loves you, she'd never leave you on purpose. And you love her, it's obvious. You can have that with other people, don't let the fear get to you. I know Jin loves me, he's my best friend, the only person I have honestly. But I can't let the mistakes of my father, and my grandparents or anyone else for that matter affect the way that I handle my relationship with him or anyone else. You need to do the same. Don't let Namjoon prevent you from finding friends, or from finding love. You deserve love Taehyung, whether you believe me or not, you do. We all do"

We were silent for a while, when we arrived at the hotel I went to my luggage and pulled out my swim trunks and flip flops before going into the bathroom and getting changed. When I came out Tae was standing in his trunks with our towels over his shoulder and his flip flops on