Quid Pro Quo. TaeKook AU

Why?

Two months after the contract ended. 

"Why didn't you come to me?"

"I didn't want to use you" I confessed as I sat across from him at the table drinking coffee 

"Kook, I understand, but you're one of my closest friends regardless of what we've done in the past. I can help you" he shrugged 

"Hobi, I can't ask you to do that for me. Honestly, and after how things ended between Tae and I, I don't even feel like existing half the time. It's been two fucking months and I still don't feel right" 

"Kookie, listen to me" he leaned over the table "he's an asshole. It's plain and simple. I'll talk to Yoongs and work something out okay?" 

"I appreciate you" I smiled 

"So it's going up for sale in a month?"

"Yeah"

"Do you have a name picked out?"

"More than Pizza" I smiled as my mind wandered back to Tae and I. 

I spent the last two months trying to pick myself up off the floor, but I can't. I keep crying off and on, throwing up, not eating, not sleeping. I'm literally a fucking wreck. At one point I felt so fucking desperate to get some sort of reaction from him that I even sent him a big bouquet of purple flowers with a note that said I was sorry and that I hoped he could talk to me again. 

He never responded. 

I knew he wouldn't. 

Kathy tried to call me the first two weeks, but I kept ignoring her calls, she didn't deserve that. But if I had talked to her, I would've wound up back in the office on my hands and knees begging for Tae to notice me. 

I need to let go. I understand, but how? 

"Let me handle it okay?" Hobi said softly 

"Thanks hyung" 

I walked into my apartment and immediately picked up Scabbers, giving him lots of love and heabutts, trying to get some sort of comfort as my life fell apart. My phone went off and I had a text from Yoongi

Yoongs: just talked to Hoseok, it's all good. Marco accepted. 
Me: thank you
Yoongs: hang in there kiddo, it'll be okay. 
Me: I'm trying

I carried Scabbers to my bed and laid down with him, I decided to scroll through social media aimlessly, and I really wished that I hadn't. 

Why were they together? 

Where were they going? 

Why is he with him? 

He's lost so much weight. 

Why isn't he eating? 

Why isn't Kathy helping him? 

What is he doing? 

I'll tell you what he's doing. 

He's living his life without me. 

I should man up and do the same. 

There's been so many times in my life that I thought I was in love. That I thought I found my soulmate, and after I met Tae, I realized that they never compared. 

How am I supposed to move on from perfection? 

What am I supposed to do? Settle? 

I can't. 

The only thing I have to look forward to now is getting my restaurant open. So that's that's what I'll focus on. 

Me: bar?
Oldman: I can't tonight kookie

Me: bar?
Yoongs: sure, why not. 

"Thanks for coming"

"No problem" he shrugged and handed me a beer "I didn't know what you wanted so I just got us both a beer"

"That's perfect" I sat down and took the cap off before taking a big swig 

"Want to talk about it?"

"I want to forget about it. I want to forget about him, and I just want to focus on getting my restaurant open and functioning" 

"Understandable" he nodded

"What's going on in your life? Anything new?"

"Nope" he shook his head 

"We're boring as fuck"

"No shit" he laughed 

"Wanna do some shots?"

"Why not?" 

That was a mistake. 

"Come on kook, help me out here" he grunted as he tried to get me out of the car, I was uncontrollably sobbing 

"I don't understand" 

"I know kookie, but come on, let's get you inside"

"Why didn't he want me? What did I do wrong? What have I ever done wrong?"

"Nothing kookie, you haven't done anything wrong" he tried to comfort me as he got me into my apartment 

"I'm just a fucking piece of shit" I cried into my pillow 

"No you're not. And don't ever let anyone make you feel that way"

"It's true" I shook my head "my parents, my grandparents, all of my exes, not one fucking person has ever wanted me" 

"I have" 

"What?" My eyes widened and he nodded 

"I have. When we first met, I thought you were fucking stunning. I thought you were smart, endearing, kind, adorable, goofy, I thought you were jaw droppingly fucking perfect" he brushed my hair away from my face "and I'm not the only one. Despite how he acted, or how he handled the situation, I'm willing to bet every cent I have that he does too. I can't promise you two will work out. But I can promise you, that you will move on with someone who loves you just as deeply as you love them. You'll be okay. You have Jin, Hobi, me, and Scabbers. Focus on that okay?"

"Thank you" I whispered as I closed my eyes and held onto him as sleep started to take over, right before I fully fell asleep, he kissed my forehead, got off my bed and let himself out of the apartment.

I sobbed into my pillow until I finally fell asleep.

Fuck him.
Fuck Namjoon.
Fuck Jimin.
Fuck my Father.
Fuck my grandparents.

I'll be just fine on my own.