London
December 6
2:10 pm
Since Azaria was at school I spent the whole day deep cleaning the house from top to bottom. As I poured the water out from the bucket I used to wash the walls and baseboards, I could hear a knock on the door so once I finished, I went to open it and Keyshawn stood there
"Azaria is at school" I simply told him, not even looking him in his face
"I know. I came to talk to you"
"I-I'm busy cleaning up and I.. gotta finish before she gets home"
"So you gone keep avoiding talking to me?"
"I'm not avoiding you. I just..." I stayed quiet for a second before sighing and opening the door wider "come on"
I let him in the house and closed the door afterwards. While he sat down one one end of the chair, I sat as far as possible on the other
"Look, I know what happened was fucked up.. and I don't blame you if you hate me forever but I just want you to know that I am truly sorry and I regret that shit EVERYDAY. I was on some childish ass shit, I was being selfish and stupid"
"Keyshawn, you doing whatchu did wasn't nothing but the icing on the cake because trust and believe... you broke me a longgg time ago"
"Whatchu mean?"
Finally, I looked at him
"And the fact that you oblivious to the shit you did speaks volumes. After you took my child from me and you and your WHOLE family treated me like I was some deadbeat ass momma. You disrespected me, embarrassed me, used me and played with me for so long and the minute I finally started to stand up for myself you pulled some shit like that." I told Keyshawn and he just looked at me
"To be honest, deep down inside I wanted to keep that baby because just MAYBE, I figured I would've been able to have a chance to redeem myself for missing all that time with Azaria but I know that that would've been selfish of me to bring another innocent child into some petty ass shit that could've been avoided if I would've just left you alone"
"London, let's be forreal. You was bouncing from house to house, unstable and you think that was good for our child?"
"You act like I had a choice! My momma died Keyshawn and my daddy was nonexistent. My family kept passing me around until they got tired of me and you would've figured that your family would've at least tried to be there for me or something being that I'm the mother of your child"
"My momma was already pissed about you getting pregnant, you really thing she was gone be cool with us staying in the same house together"
"So instead she took my child and would't let me see her? Because HER SON was the one that got me pregnant. But if that situation was the other way around my momma would've DAMN SURE welcomed you with open arms. Then you constantly was saying you loved me and a bunch of other shit"
" London I always loved you"
"Yet you did me how you did.. and I'm not even talking about you putting your hands on me at this point. Before that. NOTHING you ever did showed me any type of love. Especially when you went and married that bitch! And where she at now?"
"Hurting you ain ever been my intentions. I told you, I was selfish and stupid"
I rolled my eyes, not tryina hear shit he was saying to be honest
"You told me you loved me before I even got pregnant with Azaria, and look at how that turned out. You made so many promises to me and you NEVER kept any of them and that hurt me cause you know damn well you were all I had left other than my child. I trusted you with my life Keyshawn but we both made a mistake and I seemed to be the only one to deal with consequences cause you left me as soon as I got pregnant"
