𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

DMCB as convos from my friends

a/n: it was too long to fit in my other thoughts/headcanons shit so i made its own chapter , fic comin dis week 🤞

warnings: cussing & shite & crack

miki: you look so pretty where are you going?
miko: therapy

miko: imagine you shit out a worm
akira: i'm not trying to shit out an alaskan bull worm

ryo: like i didn't put anything offensive, i didn't express my homophobia

sirene: is it too much to smell his dick like goddamn he's acting like i'm gonna break that shit with my fat fucking pussy

miki: it's the lesbian chemicals

miko: i'll put a baby in you

ryo: if he monster, why voice sexy?

akira to miki and miko: me grabbing their hands: ayo i got me some of them she/theys

miko: i need a hand around my throat, not for sex i just want to die

akira: she suck me so good and hard through my jorts

miki: mentally i'm a whore, physically i'm scared

akira: he be like 'grilled cheese 😈' and i be like 'ooooOOOOO fuck

sirene: i close my eyes during sex because i don't want to see men happy

miko: aren't you a faggot?
ryo: sometimes

akira: ed sheeran had SEX? how

ryo: thoughts?
ms jenny: REPENT

akira: it's always the bitches with names starting with A i swear

miko: don't pull the 'i'm gay' card
akira:i'm gay

miki to miko: why watch bunny girl senpai when could be a bunny girl senpai (this is now a threat. dress up like bunny girl 🔪)

ryo: i'm busy publishing my drafts
akira: "i'm busy publishing my drafts" I AM YOUR WIFE
ryo: ok? go back to the kitchen female
akira: fine [stomps to kitchen] DO YOU WANT ICE CREAM ON YOUR HEART SHAPED WAFFLES OR STRAWBERRIES?
ryo: STRAWBERRIES 👹👹👹👹
akira: SHUT THE FUCK UP

akira: suddenly i'm straight
miko: i AM the conversion therapy

miko: spare titty 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
miki: babe you already have some banger tits

akira: my dick smooth af

ryo to akira: you have no right telling them to stfu when you're calling me kitten in the dms

taro probably: balls itch maybe

akira: i have one question for you
miki: yes?
akira: finish the lyric, i kissed a girl
miki: and i liked it 🙄 🥶
akira: LESBIAN
miki: WAIT NO KWMEM

ryo: not my fault you have so many things going against you in modern society 🙄🙄🙄😒😒
akira: i cant believe you're degrading me, do it again

miko: what's it like looking in the mirror you fucking whore
ryo: ethereal

koda: next person to send a message is a fag
fuck
FUCK

akira: aight which one of you is gonna fuck me 😈
ryo: ass up baby girl
ms jenny: what the hell did i walk into-

ryo: are the smiths still alive? i wanna sue them for giving me depression

miko: not this mf asking if i can milly rock

miki: don't ask
ryo: wasnt going to bottom

koda: when do u turn 18 so i can beat the shit out of you and not get in trouble

miki: i'm eating a grilled cheese sandwich
akira: yea no girl you can't bottom after that...wait nvm you have a backup hole