Loveless (Book 1) [Completed]

Chapter 37.

LEARNING TO LOVE FROM THE BELOVED!

The apartment living room was in an unusually messy state. An unwashed coat was lying on the floor, a sweat-stained shirt on the sofa. The glass table in the middle had a couple of empty bottles of whiskey. Leaning against it on his back, in a gloomy, depressed heap was Ren, with another half-empty bottle of alcohol in his hand from which he would occasionally take a sip. A bunch of DVDs of Tsukigomori were spilled across the room, like someone had slammed them against the floor in a blinding fit of rage.

His cellphone rang for the umpteenth time but he didn't even glance at it. Instead, he chugged down the rest of the contents from the glass bottle in his hand and rolled it down the floor.

Back at the agency, Yashiro tried Ren's cell again but to no avail.

"Come on, Ren," he muttered through clenched teeth. "I'm trying to do my job here. Pick up the stupid phone."

His brow furrowed with worry as he dialed again. This is so out of character for him, he thought and the bell continued to ring.

After a minute or so, the call went to voicemail. "Ren, it's me. You've got another episode of Tokyo Bridge Rock this afternoon at three. Don't forget. Please be there." He slammed down the receiver and sighed. All he could do now was wait.

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.

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On the set of Dark Moon, Ogata looked up at the schedule of his cast on his notepad when Kyoko asked his permission to leave early.

"You said you need to be out of here by noon?" He asked.

"Yeah. I've got another job. Sorry if I'm being a pain." That afternoon, Kyoko had to go to the studio of Kimigure Rock to play Bo.

"No, no. Not at all, you're fine." Ogata shook his head. "The shooting schedule is up in the air either way. No point having you stand around doing nothing, I suppose."

He glanced at his notepad again and his expression saddened. "If anyone should apologize it's me," he mumbled in a tone brimmed with helplessness. "I didn't see this getting so out of hand..." his voice faltered, he looked like he was about to cry. "My cast is in shambles."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Sir." Kyoko waved her hands. "I promise we can manage till Mr Tsuruga comes back."

"Why did I think I could be a Director?" Ogata sank down in a chair with an air of gloom surrounding him. "My actor is struggling and I don't know what I can do to help. The man needs more time but I just keep pushing him." He pressed his palms to his face and then rubbed them together. "I told him that that was it for the day. I realise now, that it must have made him feel like an amateur, but I couldn't just watch him hang himself either. It was just awful. The look on his face broke my heart. He was desperate, like a wounded animal."

So he saw it to? Kyoko could relate to the Director because she was feeling just as perturbed. There was nothing she could do to help Ren, no matter how much she wanted to. He looked mortified. It wasn't about the number of takes. The problem ran much deeper than professional pride.

"I think Ren has reached a creative dead end." Ogata's eyes flooded. "He needs help and I'm not capable of giving it to him."

"You have to stop beating yourself up, Sir! You did the best you could for him!" Kyoko said sternly. After a pause, she shared her opinion on the subject, "take after take, Ren never tried playing Katsuki the same way twice. He kept falling apart and asking to start over again. That wasn't an artistic choice. That was the sign of an actor who couldn't find his groove. The truth of the character eluded him. It was like... like he was waiting for Katsuki to materialize out of thin air."