Loveless (Book 1) [Completed]

Chapter 90.

THE INNER BATTLE.

I can't sleep! How can I possibly sleep like this? Ignoring the strong urge to shut her eyes, Kyoko cursed her luck.

She almost missed the times when Ren used to sleep covered in layers of quilt, because this was nothing short of a nightmare for her. 

After she let Ren hug her in the hallway, since he was literally shaking, Kyoko let him guide her back to their room, where he landed on their bed with his arms still around her.

Until now, between them there used to be an invisible wall at the centre of their bed at night, and they never crossed it knowing their boundaries. Ren even thickened this wall by wrapping himself in his blanket.

Now, however, it seemed like he had let go of every pinch of sanity within him, as he lay there with one of his arm resting below her head, and the other across her chest. Kyoko had never been so still.

She was thinking that even the slightest of movement would wake him up and he would open his eyes. And the last thing she wanted was his eyes upon her when they were literally tangled together.

Besides everything, she was also a bit relieved since his trembling had finally subsided.

What was even that? She wondered. No matter how much she racked her brains, she realized she could not figure out what made Ren so afraid like that all of a sudden. No, it wasn't sudden. He hadn't been himself for a while.

Kyoko could have easily made an excuse when he asked her to hug him, but she didn't. She couldn't, because she had that feeling again. It was more like a premonition. She somehow knew that if she didn't held on to Ren, then he would fade away.

Almost like that time when he first fought those thugs. Or when he grinned so maliciously in the middle of the act without even realizing. She had a similar feeling back then too, but she convinced herself that it was all an act. That it was Cain, or BJ. But it was neither.

It was like there's another person inside of Ren who's completely opposite of him, and Ren is trying so hard to hold on, but this other being is constantly trying to push him away. Maybe, that's why Kyoko had this nagging feeling that he would fade away.

After contemplating on it for a while, there was one thing Kyoko was able to figure out. Whatever it was Ren was dealing with, it all only started after they began portraying the Heels.

.

.

.

There was nothing unusual the next morning. Kyoko, ignoring the desperate need of sleep after spending one more night wide awake, was somehow able get up and drag her body to the kitchen where she made a healthy meal for Ren. She was almost done with the breakfast when Ren, or more like Cain woke up. He never even indicated that last night happened since he was completely back to normal.

They remained fully in character and never uttered a word in japanese. They were the Heels through and through. As much as Kyoko was happy to see Ren well enough to maintain his character again, she couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with him in the first place. Whatever it was, it only started after Tragic Marker, so she decided to look into it once she got time.

They ate while talking about casual things: things which the Heels would ordinarily talk about. Neither of them bought up the obvious change in Ren last night. Kyoko wanted to do so, but it seemed to her that Ren didn't wanna talk about it so she didn't probe him.

After they were done, both siblings changed out of their night clothes before setting out for the studio. The minute Cain laid eyes on Setsuka wearing another of her revealing outfits, he frowned. His eyes lingering on her creamy tapering legs.