𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪 𝘮𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 | 𝙧𝙚𝙠𝙞 𝙭 𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙖

insecurities

chapter twelve
insecurities
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as langa has entered the school grounds he began scanning around the buildings to see if he could spot reki. this was the first time they went to school as two boyfriends, and he wanted to greet reki and see how he was doing. he finally spotted reki sitting on a bench, half asleep, probably waiting for the bell to ring.

langa walked quickly towards him, waving at him as a greeting.

"hi reki!" langa said, taking a sit on the bench right next to him.

langa didn't know if it was his imagination or if reki really moved a bit further away from langa before greeting him back, but he decided not to pay any attention to it.

he was about to ask him something when the bell rang, interrupting langa's train of thought. without saying anything, reki grabbed his backpack along with his skateboard and headed towards his classroom. langa decided not to mind his weird, distant behavior yet again and follow him until they reached their destination.

once the class began, langa decided not to overthink anything because he was probably just a bit paranoid. he knew that reki was and always will be there by his side, so whatever made reki act a bit weird was probably nothing worth worrying about.

the last bell rang and langa began to pack up his things, quickly heading towards reki's desk. most of the people had already left the classroom, so langa decided to lean in and plant a quick kiss on reki's cheeks. after the quick peck reki tensed up and all of langa's worries that he tried to find excuses for quickly emerged to the surface, worry clear on his face.

"is something wrong? you've been acting weird all day." langa asked, looking straight in reki's eyes, trying to understand what was up with his boyfriend. reki, however, focused his attention on his hands, fidgeting with them after having finished shoving everything school related in his bag. he got up from his desk, grabbed his backpack and started walking.

"nothing's wrong. it's just- you know what forget it it's stupid." reki said, still walking.

langa followed him down the stairs and told him:

"you know you can tell me anything right?" langa asked, placing a hand on reki's shoulder once they left the school grounds.

"i know, it's just... i'm going to need a bit of time to get used to us... i mean in public..." reki said, looking down. if langa would have given it a second thought he would have probably understood what reki meant. after all, langa used to be the same. he didn't want to draw any kind of attention to him and he would freak out if people started gossiping about him, and to be honest, being openly in a gay relationship wasn't the most discrete thing. but langa didn't stop to think about how reki could feel, all he knew is that he felt comfortable being with reki
even in public and reki didn't, which bothered him.

"so.. does that mean that you don't want to be seen with me?!" langa asked as he stopped walking, making reki raise his head up from his feet and look at langa, he himself stopping from walking further.

"it's not about you! i still like you... it's just-" reki said, stopping himself from speaking. he didn't know how to explain that he was simply afraid of what people would think when they found out he was gay. however, still angry, langa took his silence as a form of confirmation to his doubts: reki was ashamed to show himself with langa in public.

without any more words, langa stepped onto his skateboard and headed home, leaving reki alone behind him.

it was already really late and langa didn't show up at the skatepark. reki was there in hopes to clear his mind but also hoping that langa would show up as he usually did so he could talk to him. unfortunately, langa didn't come that day which was really weird because everyday since he met reki they would come to this exact skatepark, so this was the first time he skipped.