𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭

~𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲~

I could almost spot the hurt expression on his face, but he quickly conceals it.
"I- I'm sorry. I understood wrong, forgive me." He looks away, never meeting my eyes.
"No, it's not that. I- I have a boyfriend. I shouldn't have kissed you earlier, It's my fault."
His eyes widen and he looks even more hurt.
"It's fine."
His tone completely changed from caring back to his normal professional one.
"Um- I shall leave. See you tomorrow."
"See you tomorrow." He repeats as he closes the door.

What have I done? I curse at myself. I wanted this.
But no, I never wanted this, I have Elijah, I love Elijah.
But I also like him....
I don't know how I feel.
I don't want to like him, I don't want to feel like this, but then I can't help it, I am like this.
No, no, no.
I do not like him.
Yes, I hate him, and I hate everything about him.
All that a couple of months ago was nothing more than an act. I never would kiss him.

For the next few hours I just swirl around in my bed, head full of thoughts and fears.

⥞✦⥟

Luckily, time have passed.
I wear one of the dresses in the closet, and strap myself with an ample amount of daggers and knives.
I take deep breaths. I must do this.
For the sake of the country that allegedly is mine.

A light knock on the door withdraws me from my thoughts.
It's the same guard who was in the carriage. Deen I recall his name.
"My lady," he bows his head. "You're ready?"
I reply with a simple yes as he walks me out of the door.

We walk into the stables and I'm met with a nearly unhinged mother who hugs me like she hasn't left me for the past years.
I break the hug first, and cup her cheeks in my hands.
"Mother, I promise you I will be fine."
She nods, "You better!"
Pulling me into another embrace she adds, "I'll be taking a different route, but I'm still with you, ok?"