STAR WARS IMAGINES

poe dameron | no one's ever really gone

wasn't sure if i would post this, but decided to in case anyone else needs to read something like it. yesterday would have been my papaw's 73rd birthday. he passed away eight years ago. it feels like a lifetime ago but at the same time it feels like it happened just yesterday. it broke me in ways i know i will never heal. but out of that grief came my love for writing, and somehow the super poorly written jack frost fanfiction i wrote the week after his death became this account and these stories. and so, like every year on this day, i'm writing something centered around grief, because my grief is real and my comfort characters are real and this is what i have used to cope. and it works. 

so if you're grieving, no matter how much time has passed since you lost them, just know you're justified to give yourself space and time and be patient with yourself <3

/ / /

"She's gone."

As soon as those words were spoken into the air by Commander D'Acy, your world stopped. As your breath left your lips and your body froze in its place, everything you had ever known was suddenly torn from you. Your last remaining family member. Your mother. The news was delivered to you in a second and in those two words, everything changed.

Poe turned his head to look at you. His expression was heartbroken, not only for himself as he lost his mentor, but for you. Finn started to silently cry, reaching for you and Chewie at the same time. As Chewbacca started to wail and fell to his knees, the tears overcame you.

"Gone?" you rasped. Commander D'Acy nodded, bottom lip trembling. "She's... she's just gone?"

Poe stepped forward and placed one hand on the side of your face, bringing you in close to him. "Shhh..."

But there was no quieting the storm inside of you. Your body shook violently with the sobs that you could not stop. Poe brushed his fingers through your hair slowly, pressing a kiss to your temple before turning his head away to release some tears of his own. Chewie continued to scream in pain. Poe reached for him and he shoved his hand away.

"Chewie," you pleaded. You didn't want him to push Poe away or hurt him further. Everyone was grieving. But Chewie just shook his head, and Finn and Poe knew that it was best to let him be for the moment. He was the last remaining out of Luke, Han, and your mother.

And you---

You were the last remaining of your family.

Your brother was lost. Your uncle always believed that no one was ever really gone, but you weren't a fool. He was gone. He was consumed by his selfish wants and desires and all of the blame of his shortcomings that he placed on your parents, and it killed him long ago. He told you once that he killed Ben Solo and you believed him. He murdered your father because his mentor told him to. He tried to kill Poe, Finn, and Rey all on separate occasions. He constantly tried to flip Rey over to the dark side, using her own insecurities against her. He was a monster. Your brother was gone.

Your father was gone.

And now your mother.

She was underneath the canopy of a tent. There was a stool by her bedside. As you sat down, Poe lingered by you, his hand on your shoulder. After giving a gentle squeeze, he spoke softly, "I'll give you some time."

"No." Your hand clamped down on him in a panic. Your voice was a shaky whisper. "I can't do this alone."

"Okay. Okay, I'm right here." He held your hand.

You inhaled slowly as you looked down at your mother's face. Her cheeks were pale. Her eyes closed. She looked like she was sleeping, like a princess in those fairytale stories she told you as a child. It shattered you to touch the back of her hand and only feel ice cold.