Road trip

1- Promise me

It's not fair. I know they say that nothing in life ever is, but as a senior in high school I shouldn't be standing here with him as we continue to mourn the loss of molly.

This is the third year I have stood in this spot with him, looking down at her headstone with tears streaming down my face. It's not something anyone should go through in high school - loosing a friend.

Molly is, was, my best friend. We grew up in the same neighborhood and ever since she gave me her sparkling glitter pen at the park when we were four we were inseparable.

We did sports together, had those classic sleepovers where we did each other's makeup just to take it off again and eat junk food. She was the best person I knew in this world and she always will be.

Austin joined our group the last year of middle school. He started dating molly and he quickly became one of my best friends in the process. I don't know if it was because he genuinely cared about her, or if it was because he never once complained when we would cancel plans for her health, but I knew he was a good person, someone I could trust.

He was also one of the few people that stood by my side and held me as we both waited in the hospital lobby the night she collapsed.

Molly was diagnosed with Batten Disease when she was seven. At the time her parents had thought that she may have been epileptic, but once the doctors had finished their testing we found out that we were completely wrong.

It never stopped us though. Of course we always  took precautions to prevent her seizures, but they were unpredictable. Eventually I learned how to handle them with her, and then Austin did too.

The night she died we were all sitting around a bonfire at the lake. It was the middle of our freshman year of high school and we were all super excited to be invited to a party held by one of the guys in the senior class.

Molly had pulled me up to dance when her eye twitched and her grip tightened. We had experienced enough seizures together to learn the signs, but when she fell onto me and people started screaming we panicked.

I remember how she looked as she shook, it never took long for her to come out of one, but this time when the convulsions stopped she didn't move. Her eyes didn't open and she wouldn't respond.

That's when Austin picked her up and carried her to the car that belonged to one of the seniors. They drove us to the hospital while I cried and explained to her parents.

"Anna, she's going to be okay." Austin had said before looking back down at her "she has to be okay.".

What we didn't know was that a few hours later we would have lost our favorite person in the world.

I remember the doctors had managed to get her conscious at one time. She had talked to Austin first, then her parents, and finally me.

"Anna I need you to do something for me?" Her voice was weak.

"Anything Mols."

"Take care of Austin. I need you to promise me that no matter what happens, you will be there for him. Stay by his side. I love you so much Anna, I really need you to do this for me."

"I promise." I sniffled as she smiled weakly and closed her eyes.

The sound that followed would haunt me for weeks after. The sound of machines beeping loudly as a team of doctors raced in and pushed me out of the room.

I spent that night holding onto Austin in the waiting room while we waited for something, anything to come from the other side of doors. Unfortunately what did come was the confirmation that my best friend,  my favorite person ever, was gone.

I didn't go anywhere after that. I stayed in my room crying for days until the funeral. It was small and simple, the way she would have wanted it to be, and yet nothing about her being gone felt right.

The void she left behind couldn't be filled.

When I saw Austin at the service he looked as bad as I felt and I knew Molly needed me to make good on my promise to her, no matter how much I was hurting myself.

I walked over to him and took his hand in mine before turning into him and crying into his chest. I could feel his hot tears on my shoulder as he hugged me back and grieved for her.

It took a few weeks after that day for us to even get to our normal school schedules, but when we did Austin and I were inseparable. We didn't talk about what happened, we didn't talk about molly - the memory of our loss too much for us to talk about. Instead we tried to get through high school together.

One thing that we did do, that brought us where we are today, is we visited her. The important holidays and the memorial of her death, we both came together. We would talk to her and tell her about school, our families, normal kid stuff.

This year was no different. Although it was our senior year and we would both be going to college in the fall. Graduation was a few months away and me and Austin had decided to go to different schools. They were in the same town , just on different sides and we had decided to rent an apartment.

"So before we go to college mols, we have something to tell you." I talked to the concrete stone block.

Austin put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it, his own way of telling me to let him explain.

"So Anna was looking through her stuff the other day and she found your old map. The one you guys would always circle different places on. We decided that over the summer, before we go to college, we are going to take a road trip and visit all of those places."

"My dad." I continued when he took a shaky breath, "his company got really big after you left Mols, he's giving us the money to visit all the places we said we would go. I just... I wish you could be there with us." I sighed.

"It's our trip for you." Austin said as tears slipped down my cheek.

He wrapped me in his arms the way he did every time we came out here. It was hard for him, loosing mols, but he had only known her for a couple years, I had known her the majority of my life and he understood that.

"Come on A, let's get you something to eat. Wherever Mols is now, I know she's happy that we are doing this for her." He talked into my hair before rubbing my cheeks with his thumbs.

"Thanks Austin." I smiled a very unattractive just finished crying smile.

"No problem. Someone had to take the best friend spot and we both know Molly would rise from the grave and kill me if I didn't do it."

I laughed at that as he took my hand in his and pulled me over to his car.

Molly was right. Austin would always take care of everyone else and I finally understood her last wish. She wanted to make sure someone took care of him too.

"Take care of him, stay by his side"

The only words that I would never back away from. No matter what.