Road trip

25- what would you want Mols?

His hand was nestled perfectly in mine as we walked down the beautiful pathway into Central Park. I watched as kids played, people jogged by, and wondered if my inability to make decisions was because everything was always given to me.

Molly would always talk me into parties and exciting adventures and after she left Austin took her place. Everything I ever did or have is because of other people and not myself, this trip included.

Of course I had the money saved up for this trip, but I didn't turn down the offer for our parents to pay for it either. It made me think that maybe I needed to stand on my own feet, the apartment with Austin being a first step in that goal.

"Austin? Will you go grab us some ice cream while I make a quick phone call?" I asked as I sat down on a bench overlooking the lake in Central Park.

"Sure thing. Be right back." He smiled as he walked in the direction we had just come from.

I hit the call button on my phone as I waited three rings before it connected.

"Hey pretty girl, I'm not going to bother with formalities, so tell me what you needed to ask?"

"You're her mom and you know her better than anyone, what did she mean when she told me to look after him? I..."

"You're in love with him sweetie." She said in a soft and caring way.

"Yeah, I think I am. I just, I don't want to let her down. I made her that promise and I want to keep it. I guess I'm just scared that if it doesn't work I'll loose him and break my promise at the same time." I admitted as she let out a long breath.

"Anna, darling, Molly wanted you to be happy and to live your life happy. There is no one she loved more than you and Austin and as her mother I can say that she would be very happy if you found that happiness together. Molly knew when she started dating Austin that she may not have a long time, but she did it anyway. She was someone who had everything planned ahead of time and I think she knew what she was doing when she made you make that promise. I can't give you her permission, but I can say that if she didn't want you together, she wouldn't have set such a big promise on you to fulfill for the rest of your life."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and thanked her before hanging up the phone. Austin wasn't back yet, so I sat and watched the water ripple on the lake as I thought over her words.

"What should I do Mols? I know you can't answer me but a sign or something would be nice." I sighed as I watched a man proposing across the lake from me.

I didn't understand how everyone around me seemed to have their lives all together while I was internally at war with myself. Maybe Molly's mom was right, maybe she had planned this all along.

"Chocolate ice cream for the prettiest girl in the city." Austin's arm wrapped around my shoulder producing a chocolate cone as he kissed my cheek.

"Thanks." I smiled before licking the top to stop it melting.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked with a look of concern. "And don't tell me it's nothing."

"I was just thinking about Molly." I began eating my ice cream again without elaborating.

"It's because of what I asked you isn't it?" He said and my lack of response clearly gave him the answer he had already assumed.

"Austin, I love you, I really do. I just ... if this doesn't work I lose you, I break my promise to her and then what do I have, nothing."

His free hand reached down as he wrapped his fingers in mine, giving my hand a squeeze.

"Anna, there isn't anything that would ever keep me from talking to you. Whether we break up, fight, none of it would ever, ever, keep me from being your friend, you understand that right?" He looked at me so honestly that my heart was pounding.

"You can't know that, if I lost you Austin I'd be completely alone. I would have broken my promise to Mols to take care of you and lost my best friend." I turned my gaze away from him again.

His hand cupped my cheek and brought me back to his eyes, stroking my cheek tenderly as he spoke. "That will never happen. Why don't we enjoy the rest of the day and then tonight we can talk about this more. I know you wanted to see the Statue of Liberty."

I perked up at the suggestion and he knew he had won this round of cheering me up. It was one of the many things he was good at.

He took my half melted ice cream and tossed it in the trash with his, wiping both our hands with napkins before we set off in the opposite direction that we had been walking.

We passed by the 9/11 monument on the way, the very memory of the event sending chills down my body. Austin didn't even ask if we needed to stop, instead we stood, my hand in his, as we silently honored all the people who, like molly, were taken too early from this world.

Austin caught the tear that fell from my face and without a word pulled me towards the small pier that overlooked the Statue of Liberty.

"You wanna take the boat tour over?" He asked.

"No." I said still consumed in the sadness of knowing that so many people had died for no reason.

"Hey, I know it's a lot to take in, I remember that day too, but that's why it's important to remember them, remember their names and pay tribute to the losses their families endured."

I wiped another stray tear angrily from my cheek before I turned to look at him. "I love you Austin."

He stepped towards me and pulled me into his chest "Love you more Anna"

When I had finally calmed down we took some pictures with the Statue of Liberty behind us in the distance and headed the several blocks back to the hotel.

It was on the way back that my mind drifted back to his question last night. I knew what I wanted but I couldn't stop thinking of Molly.

When we got back to the hotel Austin rummaged in his bag as I sat on the bed letting the day settle in my mind. He took a seat beside me and handed me an open envelope.

He nodded his head when I looked at him and carefully I unfolded the paper, immediately recognizing the curves of the handwriting.

It was Molly's.