It was the last night of the year. Omkara was thoroughly confused. On one end, were his feelings for her and on the other end his hurt. It had been a while since he last spoke to her, the real Gauri. Not this stubborn new version she had come to being. He folded the collar of his shirt looking at the mirror. Priyanka had tried convincing him to meet Gauri once. However, Omkara refused to act on her suggestion. He needed time to figure out. A part of him was in doubt — what if she had really moved on? No, his heart knew. She wouldn't have. He had decided to face her finally.
* * *
Gauri entered her room hurriedly to change into something more presentable. It was nice to be around Priyanka again. It was almost like good old days, except that there was this weird feeling in between. Gauri couldn't forget the fact that Priyanka had walked in, to see her in the arms of Omkara in a pretty embarrassing and compromising position. Priyanka had tried to convince her at many times to talk to Omkara. However, Gauri always deviated the topic, giving her the hint that she wasn't interested. It wasn't easy to forget the past. With the baggage of past she could not go back to things. It was both embarrassing and awkward. She still felt guilty for whatever had happened.
She quickly took a shower and slipped on her maroon dress. She had been careful to avoid any remote chance of running into Omkara, anywhere in the resort. However, she knew, it would be hard today. She anyhow was prepared incase she met him. She wasn't going to let him know that she still felt the same way in her heart —that she still loved him. But there was no point trying to go back. The past would always remain as remembrance of pain, anyway. She didn't want to, even by mistake, be the reason for pain to the Oberois. That would be accomplished only if she stayed away from them.
* * *
Gauri kept to the shadows around the party venue. Occasionally, she would move around making sure everything was going smooth. Dinner was going on in full swing. It was only ten now. In thirty minutes, the entertainment programme would kick start. She stood in the corner keeping her eye on things going around. Her phone beeped. She unlocked it and a small smile made it to her face. It was a text message from Jatin, her colleague. He so desperately wanted this Goa project however it had been handed to her.
Hate you for being at Goa. I am sulking here at this wedding. People are way too orthodox here. Can you believe it's a dry day? No drinks, on New Year! I hate you, Trivedi!
Gauri giggled reading the message. "You deserve it Jatin. Happy Healthy New Year!" She typed grinning. Gauri looked up from her screen to see Priyanka approaching her. She maintained her smile.
"Gauri why are you here? The event is about to begin let's go."
Gauri gave a smile placing her hand on Priyanka's. "I will join you in a while. I have a little work to see." Gauri lied very convincingly.
"You will right?" Priyanka asked meeting her eyes.
"I will.." Gauri nodded quickly and walked away. Priyanka stared at her retreating figure a pang tormented her heart. What had she done!
* * *
"Since when did you become a loner?" Gauri's eyes widened slightly listening to the voice. How did he always find a way to her? She took a deep breath and chose to not respond.
Omkara looked around. The sky was dark and the waters kissed the shore. She sure had found an isolated spot for herself at the resort's private beach. He sat beside her. "How much more running Gauri?" He asked softly.
Gauri didn't bother to glance at him. She continued staring at the endless expanse of water.
A minute of silence passed. Gauri decided to walk away. It was easier. She tried getting on her feet but was pulled down by a tug from him on her wrist. "Stop running away." He stated rather angrily. She blinked noticing his angry demeanour. She took a deep breath.
"I am tired, Gauri. Tired of your stubbornness, tired of your escapism. Just tired." Gauri stared at him, he yet hadn't released her wrist from his hold.
"Then let go off me, Omkara. It will be peaceful." She whispered not taking her eyes off his face. He looked even more handsome than before. Perhaps he hadn't considered trimming his stubble it was almost capable of being called a beard.
"You want that, don't you? I am no longer important as I used to be, right? Did you find someone else?" He questioned releasing her wrist from his grip.
"It's hard to go back, Omkara. I can't forget what happened. I cannot erase the guilt and the feeling of that pain. I don't want to hurt you or her again."
"REALLY, Gauri?" He scoffed. "You think you're not hurting now? Damn it, this hurts, Gauri. Your walking away without looking back hurt. When you love someone you fight with them, you don't just leave! You just left. Do you know how hard it was for us to not worry about you? No address, no number, no way of contact."
Gauri silently heard him out. She had never before seen him so vulnerable. She hated to see who the cause was. She had hurt him despite not wanting to. Perhaps this stupid feeling called LOVE was responsible. It never came without hurt.
"Gauri, I am human too. It hurt when you walked away after I told you, I loved you. It hurts when you ask me to move on. You know I love you, and you still are adamant. You know what Gauri, I am done. I kept my promise, I waited. But now I understand that you don't want me to wait. Fine. I won't, I will move on. You can put as much as distance you want between us. I won't care. I will move on and you wait and watch — how I move on!" His voice was loud and clear. He got up walking away leaving Gauri alone.
Gauri broke into cries. She knew she was giving him pain but only now she realized that she was terribly hurting him. He was right. She was escaping the past. She was scared of love. It hurt. She didn't want to get attached to him again. It was hard. But what she didn't realise was that she was always connected to him. She had never distanced from him no matter how much distance she had put in between them.
She hadn't realised how long she had been crying. Until she felt arms wrap around her. She turned sideways to find Priyanka. Their gazes met. Gauri couldn't hold back and cried while Priyanka held her and silent tears rolled down her cheek. Priyanka's guilt that she had buried deep inside her heart erupted. She felt terrible. Not one but two people were in pain because of her. Her brother never showed but she knew he was still in pain. Over the years she had seen how he would barely interact with the family. He busied himself in work. However there wasn't a day when he didn't stop by her room to ask her how she was. Every time Omkara spoke to her, she was reminded of Gauri. She hadn't just lost her best friend but also her brother. There was no one else to blame than herself. Her selfishness had left her empty.
"I am sorr, Gauri! I am very sorry!" She spoke between her sobs. "This is all my fault. I am sorry." She whispered.
Gauri pulled her closer and they both cried their hearts out. In hope that it would reduce the weight that bagged down their hearts. The weight of guilt. Each guilty for having wronged the other.
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