It was he worst new year's eve ever. Priyanka and Gauri sat together on the bed in silence. The sound of cheers, crackers and loud music had died. The New Year was here. It was already two in the night clock. But the two couldn't find sleep.
"I always wanted a Bhabhi who would pamper me just like Bhaiya does." Priyanka spoke staring at the wall ahead. Gauri glanced at her and then back at her hands. "Wanted to be her best buddy. I was so stupid Gauri. I ...I had everything sorted. But I started having those ugly feelings inside me. Bhaiya was right. I couldn't see you happier than me." Her words needed in sobs.
Gauri placed her left hand on Priyanka's right hand.
"He didn't talk to me for seven months, Gauri. We pretended as though everything was normal. I cried every night to sleep. It was then, that I realized I snatched away a very important part of his life only to cast it away. I always used to feel it deep down somewhere, that what I did, was wrong, that what I did to you was wrong. Such a spoilt princess card I had played. But I had my ego and stubbornness. I didn't let my pride fall. Waited and waited. For Bhaiya to come back to me and apologize. Whether it was my mistake or his, it was always him who apologized." Priyanka chuckled through her tears.
"Was so stupid Gauri, that was how much I was important to him, he made me a princess. Until that day. He met with an accident." Priyanka sniffed and Gauri's eyes widened and she turned to stare at Priyanka.
"Those seven days he was bedridden were like torture, Gauri. The fear was the worst kind. The guilt was like hot coal being aimed at my heart. My stupidity was important to me more than Bhaiya. It was the worst night ever. The worst reality check." Her words were now slipping between sobs. She bit her lips.
"He is an angel Gauri. But got a Devil for a sister. That day I almost died of... guilt, horror, anger at myself. I was .. I almost killed myself Gauri. You were also not there. I swear if anything had happened to him then...I.." Priyanka broke into bitter cries and Gauri held her close. Her own heartache escalating. She wasn't with him when he needed her. While he had always been there for her in the smallest of her battles. She wasn't there for Priyanka either. He was right, perhaps, she just found the easy way out — ran away!
"He still didn't talk to me..I cried, I shouted, I begged. But then I just understood he'd never forgive me. Our life became stagnant. It was only on the day of Rakshabandhan he finally spoke to me." A small smile started appearing on her face.
"It's been a while since then we both began doing the patch work. He asked me never to mention you again. I knew it wasn't because he hated you or so. But because he was trying to not remind himself of you. I tried looking for you so much Gauri. Riya, Krishna, Yuvi, Sharada, Jiya, all your cousins, everyone o could think of. Asked everyone, no one knew where you were."
Gauri lowered her gaze, "I ..never told anyone where I was." Her voice was soft.
Priyanka looked at her. "You love him, right?" Her voice was laced with fear.
"I do." Gauri confessed in a light voice. Priyanka immediately held her hands.
"Please go back to him. If it's because of me that you're not going back to him I promise to never even be near you two. He needs you Gauri. He doesn't say but he is breaking everyday inside. Punish me, I won't complain but please... go back to him."
Gauri looked away. Were her insecurities any relevant now? "You weren't the only reason why I left. It was my insecurities, Priyanka. I somehow never felt I was the best for him. I mean, he's the best. I was barely a mediocre. I always feared, I would not be... his choice for too long. After that day, I got an opportunity to run away. I took it. I was stupid too, Priyanka. I am sure he always knew it. He knows me to well that way. Fear is like black hole. It sucks you into it. It sucked me in too. Now, when I see back I feel like I missed the best train. Stranded, alone, it's easy to pass the day keeping yourself immense but at nights you realize how lonely you are. But, how do I go back Priyanka? The guilt eats me up. I am scared. It's overwhelming, because it's like taking an about turn and walking back into past. The past which had demons. They will always be there. We can't erase the past or get away with the baggage it has given each one of us..."
"If you love him, then all that shouldn't matter right? You will find a way, Gauri. Are you willing to trust him? This time with every cell in your being." Priyanka looked at Gauri with hopeful eyes.
"How am I going to face him?" Tears rolled down her cheeks. "I've hurt him so much."
"I know that it is hard. But Gauri, if you don't, you will hurt him more." Priyanka spoke. "Anyways I am no one to do the reconstruction when I was the one that destroyed everything the two of you had. I am sorry, Gauri. I know you and Bhaiya may never fully forgive me. But I want you to know that I love and respect both of you." Saying that she gave Gauri's hand a light squeeze and decided to retire to her room.
She suddenly stopped and turned back, "do you want me to stay?" Gauri who was aimlessly staring at nothing in particular blinked and nodded in a yes mumbling, "please."
Priyanka got back on the bed and hugged her. Gauri cried her heart out in her arms. She didn't know whether it made the load she had been carrying lighter. But her heart felt ease letting out those bottled up emotions of months.
* * *
"Bhaiya!" Priyanka shouted panting as she finally caught up with him. Her eyes all puffy from the crying. "Where do you think are you going? Our flight is at night."
Omkara looked at his sister through the dark lenses of his sun goggles. "I have some work."
"Bhaiya, please. I know Gauri and I have always taken you for granted but please.... at least..." before she could complete he brushed her hand off his arm, "not a word Priyanka. I don't care. Not any more." Saying that he walked ahead.
Priyanka sighed and decided to head back tinti the building and look for Gauri and tell her he was gone. But when she reached her room, there was no sign of her. Priyanka panicked calling out her name again and again. She picked up her phone to call him that's when she noticed a paper on he dressing table. She picked it up and a small smile curved up her face. "I will take care of your stubborn brother. Happy New Year." It read, she immediately ended the call that was still trying to connect.
Omkara slipped into the back seat of the cab. His eyes looking around. Not a sign of her. Fine. If this is what she wants then she shall be well served. "Move driver!" He ordered. He had decided to head to Pune and stay there for a few days before returning to Mumbai. A part of him still cried, she still didn't care? What was she made up of?
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