Differently Same

Chapter 19

When me and Dexter had been dating for 3 months, he had cheated on me. I had walked in on him in our secret make out place in school with another girl. I had ran out crying and he didn't even bother to follow me.

He had asked me to lunch the next day and me being so hopelessly in love with him had said yes. He explained that he thought we weren't exclusive and that he loved me and he wanted to be with me. I don't remember him saying sorry or anything even reflecting an apology. Yet, I still said yes when he asked me to be his girlfriend that day.

Sometimes when I think back on our relationship, I hate how stupid and naive i had been. Dexter never loved me. He was a horrible boyfriend. Why did I ever love him?

Regardless, I'll never forget the pain and hurt I had felt that day he cheated. It was mind numbingly dark and heart wrenching.

But the question was, why was I feeling it now?

Terry didn't cheat on me. We weren't dating. There isn't anything like that going on between us. Then why did it hurt when that woman called him her boyfriend last night, I couldn't comprehend.

If anything, it's possible that Terry cheated on that woman with me when he kissed me or maybe he met her in the two weeks after that.

Still though, for some reason it felt wrong. This whole thing felt wrong. That kiss shouldn't have happened. It changed everything. It gave me these weird feelings and thoughts that I didn't want. I was perfectly content with him being just my friend. Why did he kiss me?

I didn't think he liked me. Well of course, i thought he liked me as a friend but I thought that was it. I liked him to that extent too. My mind never went past that except for the time he appeared in front of me half naked where for a brief second my mind went there.

But since the kiss, it feels like my mind lives there now. This isn't fair. How is he in my every thought? How can he cloud my mind like that? How is he able to do this?

Ever since last night, he had called me twice but I hadn't picked up. For some reason, I wanted to punish him, show him that I was mad. But for what reason, was a mystery to me too.

Annie left this morning, that was teary goodbye. She had told me to call her everyday and when I had told her about the whole Terry and the woman incident, she told me to call him. I didn't. I will, though, I can't ignore him forever. He deserved better than that. But before i can talk to him, I have to figure out what these damn feelings are about.

I was brought out of my thoughts when the door bell rang. I was cooking with mom today. She was preparing the tomato sauce while I was making the dough and I think I added too much since it was too sticky.

"I'll get the door." I told her and went to the sink to wash my hands before heading out.

Opening the door, it felt like my eyes would pop out from how much they widened. "What're you doing here?" I whispered yelled at him, being mindful of my mother's super hearing.

Terry tilted his head slightly and stared at me confused. "Why are you whispering?" He said quite loud.

"Shh shh." I said as I stepped outside a little to close the door more.

"Helena, whose at the door?!" My mother yelled from the kitchen.

Damnit. Think of something. "Uh Mom, I'm have to go to the store." I yelled back.

Terry still stared at me confused as I stepped back to get back inside to get a jacket but before I could my mother appeared and stared at Terry with a scowl on her face.

"Who is this?" She asked me and eyed Terry.

"He's uh--" I started but Terry cut me off.

"I'm Terrence Mulligan. It's really nice to meet you Mrs Swartz." He held out a hand for my mother to shake.