See You Around~ Grester (completed)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chester's POV

I walked the streets all day, trying to unravel my muddled thoughts. I sat in a coffee shop for too many hours, my body shaking whenever my mind ran to what I was going to say to Grace. I even wrote down a few things, a confused desperate concoction of messy words sprawled on a page. Every fifth word I was crossing out- nothing seeming to do justice for everything I wanted to say. How was I meant to know what to say when I wasn't even sure if she would listen?

I could see the hospital from here, a blurry building through the rain. I pressed my hand up against the window, the cold condensation leaving my hand print. I wished Grace all the best of luck with everything she was about to go through, alone. I wished I could be with her now, holding her hand like I should have done all along. But instead I was far away, staring at the life we could've had.

I thought about marching right into the hospital, being the man she needed but I every time I went to stand my heart beat rose faster and I could never take the first step. They always had said that the first step was the hardest but it seemed that every step was a marathon I wasn't prepared to take. I had to change my mindset, I had to be the guy Grace deserved.

I ripped up the notes I had made- it would never be true if it was rehearsed. I stood up, straightening my jacket and running a hand through my hair. I left the coffee shop and began walking; with no direction, only my determination and desperation leading me to Grace.

Grace's POV

"Just through here." The nurse instructed, leading me into a room. I was informed that nothing would actually happen today, there would be no treatment only a talk about what was to come. To be honest the talking scared me the most. With talking came questions and with questions came answers I don't know if am ready to make. The last time I answered one of their questions it put me in this mess with Chester.

"Is there anyone here you want with you, anyone outside waiting?"

No. A few days ago there would have been but no, not today.

"No, just me." I smiled slightly at the end but it hurt. It hurt that I was alone and that Chester was miles away. I hoped he was looking for me but I knew better than to believe he actually cared; for I was alone for a reason.

She talked all about the treatment I would be having and I sat there listening like a scared idiot. With every word she said I lost a little hope, yes this was the treatment I needed but that didn't mean that there wasn't things that could go wrong. I couldn't not focus on them.

"Of course, with things like this there is always the possibility that it may go wrong. In your case, I'm hoping that it will be okay and it's looking positive miss Helbig, you've responded well."

I didn't know how I felt, should I be relieved? Scared? Happy? I guess that was good news but I felt empty; as if I wasn't allowed to celebrate.

"I just want you to be prepared. To understand that as hopeful as we are there are consequences for everything like this, multiple risks we have to take."

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"I'm saying that you really need to think this through. Discuss it with the people who care for you and then decide what you are going to do. To have the treatment or not? It's a big decision that will change your life, so make sure you think carefully about this."

I knew my answer. I'd be having this 'magical' treatment no matter what anyone said. It was my life and my choice. I knew that this was a massive commitment- it would entail months of gruelling procedures but I was certain I was ready.

I slotted the paperwork into my bag and walked out into the open streets. The amounts of people who surrounded me made me wonder how many of them were well. People are better at hiding things than you'd think. I wanted to fit into society, I wanted to be like everyone else in this crazy prejudice world. I needed to clear my head. I needed to go to the one place that would bring me hope, no matter the circumstances.

I made my way up the road, the walk causing my breathe to shorten. Everything was a little harder than it should've been. A side effect they say; I wasn't sure if it was from the cancer or the lack of having a hand to hold. I reached the sky-line, the view just as breathtaking as I remembered. I slowly made my way to the bench, it was as if no one had been here since. I sat down, my feet lifting off the ground. I closed my eyes as tears began to form, I held my head back against the wood and my mind filled with the memories of last time I was here. When I was telling Chester that I had to leave, go back to LA and he promised we'd see each other again. And now I was here again, mentally trying to tell him that I have to leave once more, but this time I wasn't too sure if I'd be coming back.