See You Around~ Grester (completed)

Chapter Sixty-One

Chester's POV

"How was the class?" I asked as Grace walked up to my bed.

"It was okay, thanks." She said quietly, slumping down into the chair beside me.

"You sure about that?" I pressured, knowing she was repressing something.

"Yes." She shortly stated. Looking down at the floor.

"The doctor said I could go home within the next few days, that's amazing right?" I beamed, looking at Grace expectantly for surely she couldn't not be excited for that.

"That's great." She emotionlessly said, glancing at me and showing a toothless fake smile before returning to staring at her hands.

"And that I can walk right now, some sort of magic they said. Peter Pan gave it to the doctor and now I have my own special magical powers. Faith, trust and pixie dust right?" I said, blatantly lying. Hoping for a reaction from Grace.

"That's good." She mumbled, oblivious to my words.

Her ignorance angered me but I cared more about why she was upset, why she was pretending to be okay but mostly why she couldn't tell me. All I wanted to do was to reach out and hold her, to sit with her on the chair and whisper to her that it was all okay but I couldn't. So I tried to console her from a distance, knowing all we both needed were my legs back.

"What's wrong Grace?" I sighed, tapping the side of the bed next to me, indicating her to lay with me.

She looked at me for a second and opened her mouth to speak before shutting it quickly, no words escaping.

"You can tell me. You can trust me." I shouldn't have to tell her this, she should know what I'd trust her with my life and she should feel the same, that's how things worked. But I shouldn't be here and Grace shouldn't be hiding away her fears, fate was never my friend and today proved this.

"Today in the group.." She began, her voice high-pitched and delicate, like she was treading on eggshells.

"We had to partner up." She trailed off again, struggling to look in my direction. "And everyone's birthing partners came and I didn't have one, I was alone."

I knew where she was going with this and sentences were already streaming in my head. She carried on speaking and it was as if this was rehearsed, as if I had written the script for her because I recognised every word and I knew what was coming next. It hurt, more than ever. To feel someone slipping away from you and there's nothing you can do about it other than sit and listen, sit and watch them fade.

"So all these people joined in and we're doing exercises and I know it's stupid because you were right here but for a moment I felt the loneliest I have ever felt in a long time. It's cruel and mean of me and I'm sorry but I couldn't help feeling like I was all alone in this world."

"Did you forget me?" I didn't want to ask that, I didn't want to sound that fragile and narcissistic but I had said it and it was out in the open.

She looked at me appalled, her eyes wide like that was the most emetic question she had ever heard. Then she looked down and twisted her ring around her finger. She stayed quiet and I truly believed that she had forgotten me and suddenly it was as if there was dagger in my heart and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't pull it out.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, suddenly feeling like I had done wrong, when in reality there was nothing else I could do but it still made me feel like the worst husband in the world; if my wife forgot who I was, if only for a spilt second.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there to support you, for you to join in and fit in. For you to be able to be like every other expectant mum but that's not you and that's not me. That's not the way our lives turned out and I'm okay with that. I'm okay with the fact that we can't be perfect because who is? Who can sit back and reflect on their life and really sincerely believe that nothing went wrong? No-one. And maybe we've had more problems and imperfections that others but who cares? I'd rather have no feeling in any of my body than not have you. For you're the equivalent of a hundred perfect lives and I am so grateful for that."

She rises, hopping out of the chair and slid into the bed next to me. Her warmth filled the bed and her presence was reassuring. I had missed it.

"I've loved you since the day we've met and I'm not ready to throw that all away. Especially not just because of my stupid legs. I understand what you're saying and all your feelings are valid but please don't go. Please. Because Grace you mean more to me than anything else and if you left then there would be nothing left of me. So I ask you to try, take a shot at this, at an attempt of normality because this is all I have to offer. A shitty man with a shitty body but I love you, and that's all that matters to me."

"What makes you think I'd leave you?" She whispered, her face inches from mine and her hand resting on my bicep. I moved so we were directly opposite her before whispering back.

"I assumed that was what you were saying."

She smiled sympathetically but her face was still serious. She squeezed my arm and held my hand in her free one under the sheet.

"No. Never. We're going to have to work at this and it's not going to be easy at all, it's going to be very hard. We're going to have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. You're worth waiting for, worth counting each day, hour, minute, second."

"Don't loose track of time." She smiled and shook her head slightly before placing her lips gently onto mine. I hadn't felt life inside of me like this in a long time.