See You Around~ Grester (completed)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chester's POV 

I stayed up for nights, my head bouncing with unanswerable questions. It didn't comprehend in my brain, a baby, now?  I could barely fathom my thoughts together but when I looked over to the left side of the bed and saw Grace peacefully sleeping; I knew she was worth all my sleepless nights. 

I had always wanted children, I had always craved a life where I could be a father so I don't know why the thought scared me so much. Whenever I repeated the words 'I'm going to be a dad' chills ran through my body and I could feel myself go pale. Whenever I saw children running in the streets I tried to picture my own child joining in on the fun but the image was clouded over with an underlying fear. I had once heard a boy run up to me, mistaking me for his dad. "Daddy!" He called. His words had no effect on me, it was an unnatural word and I was shocked to find myself not even acknowledging the young boy. It was almost a turning point for me, the moment when I realised that if I was going to be here then I needed to be everything that was expected of me and more. 

So for weeks I took Grace back and forth from hospital rooms. I could notice the life draining from her face but I didn't say anything, I tried to act as if everything was back to its original state; I think she thanked me for that. And this carried on, me putting on a reassuring smile as she came home day after day even more drained than the last. It wasn't till her appointment on Thursday morning when I could tell that this was the final straw, that she was breaking and there wasn't any amount of fake smiles and homemade breakfasts it could change. 

"They want me to go to New York, for some special treatment. They want me to go to sign some documents, apparently this is the breakthrough they've always needed."  Grace had whispered one night, I had thought she was asleep. 

"Why?" I asked, not truly understanding. 

"The treatment I've been having here has worked and I need to go to New York specialists for one final round. They need me to sign the papers to say that I'm having it and then I guess I go on a waiting list and then that's it."  I could feel a small smile approaching her lips; I turned around so our faces were inches away from each other's. 

"I don't quite understand. Why do you have to have a baby so soon?" As the words fell from my mouth I immediately regretted them, why had I said that? Why did it come out so harsh? Why didn't I say 'we'?  She abruptly sat up, looking at me with a mixture of confusion and betrayal. 

"Because I'm not going to be cured forever Chester! And I have to ensure my baby is safe and healthy just because its mum might not be!" She empathised the word 'my' and I felt my body stiffen. I felt used and betrayed, I felt guilty. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come across like that. I'm still getting used to the idea." I said, sitting up next to her.

"It's okay, I am too." She kissed me gently and nuzzled her head into my shoulder. All my fears somehow vanished when I was with Grace, as if she had some protective shield over me. I promised myself to be that shield for our child, whatever they needed.