See You Around~ Grester (completed)

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chester's POV

I teared the letter open, my hands carelessly ripping the envelope. My hands were shaking as I read it out- my heart thumping to the ground. 

Dear Chester, 
                     Is this the end? Do I leave and never come back? 

I'm not ready to say goodbye to you Chester and I know I never will be. I can't forget all the memories we shared. I can't escape the longing I feel towards you. I can't forget your smile and your laugh. I can't pretend that the feelings I feel for you don't exist because as I write this letter, before I leave to get treatment I might not know will work, my only thought is you. My only thought is ever you. 

You mean more to me than I could ever explain and I know I will never find the words to justify my love. I will have to make you believe by actions; but it is too late now. 

I doubt you're ever going to see me again, I won't be hiding but I don't think you'll ever coming looking. Were the things I did selfish? Should I have talked to you more? Did I assume you'd understand without trying to make you? These are only some of the thoughts that spin in my head right this second. I guess I thought you'd be okay with it because you're you.

You're the most supportive human I know, you're never not there. You're honest and true, thoughtful and humble. You're everything I need and maybe I was asking too much of you, maybe I am the problem. 

You must know that I never wanted to have a child this way, I wanted us both to be ready. And I thought you'd know because when I think of the perfect person to have a baby with I think of you. I wanted a man that would understand, someone who would empathise with me. Someone who might not be ready to he a father but would make himself ready, would find a way to make it all work. But you have gone. 

I won't ever forget you Chester. I won't ever forget every second that passed when I was with you, you were my once upon a time. My happily ever after but I know now that not everything lasts forever.

I hope you achieve everything you've ever wanted from life because you deserve it. I love the hell out of you, remember that. And remember that I don't want this to be the end, but if that is the way you want it to be then I can't hold you back anymore. I'm sorry. 

Goodbye;
Love, Grace. xxx 

I dropped the piece of tear-stained paper to the floor, my hands shaking.  I carelessly slid down the side of the kitchen cabinet and dropped to the floor, pulling my knees up against my chest. I sat like this for the rest of the day. 

Whenever I went to move my mind raced back to Grace and I felt numb, remaining in my crippled state. I walked aimlessly around the house, wallowing in self commiseration. I stared at the pictures of me and Grace, I envied our smiles. I knew I had blown it all and I hated myself for not being that man she wanted, the one in her letter. Maybe there was another man, maybe she was writing about him and everything he did for her. A new-found anger surged through me and my sorrow suddenly vanished. The feeling of Grace being with another man made me want to throw up. I had left her alone and vulnerable in a massive city.

Suddenly I was on my feet, furiously pacing around our bedroom, re-reading her words again and again. I pressed the home button on my phone, the photo of me, Grace and Tilly stared back and I knew then that there was no more time to sit here crying; drowning myself in self-pity.

I had to find her, I had chase her down and win her heart back. Whatever it took, however long it took, wherever and whenever I had to go, I was getting Grace back and there wasn't a thing going to stop me.