Penis Doodles On The Bathroom Walls Of Impermanence

Dick Pic

Pero sa totoo lang, panget naman ang tite e. That's why I never understood a dick pic.

May babae ba talagang tinititigan 'yan?
Like, in the middle of her day, would she really take a pause, take the picture out, lovingly adore such a photograph, saying, "Awwee. It's so aesthetic"?

I don't think so.

I think penises are like balut. Like, oo, masarap siya, masabaw, mabuhok, pero ang panget niyang tingnan.

Good for the sense of touch and taste, but bad for the sense of sight.

They look weird; like straight-out-of-Science-fiction weird. They look like an alien entity from an alien planet, growing out of my pelvic region like a parasite.

Ewan ko kung pansin niyo din, pero every penis, especially my penis, has a face. Hindi kumpleto though, there's no eyes and ears, but I do see a bit of mouth, a full head, and a set of hair. They're very expressive too. It has emotions, like anger, perversion, exhaustion, and even sadness.

Para ngang may sariling utak e. Like, yung akin, I'd be going to a sleepover, wearing loose pajamas, ta's nakaupo ako, then bigla-biglang tatayo amputa. Pagtatayo na'ko, nakalabas na yung hulma niya sa pajamas.

Nakakainis yung gano'n.
Walang respeto.

Ta's ako yung sisisihin ng mga nakakita, kasi daw tinigasan. FYI, it's NA-tigasan. You use "Na" 'cause it's really not my choice, it's happening without my consent and I really find it annoying.

I do. But I have to be responsible with that thing because it's in my area of responsibility.

Kaya I do this breathing exercise to relax it. Ang problema, I have to close my eyes for that, but when I close my eyes, I see an image of a pair of boobs just beneath my eyelids.

Duda ko, it's my penis who's sending that to my brain. He's really annoying.

Pero, I'm able to divert my thinking, nag-iisip na lang akong happy thoughts like, yung video ni Bato na nag-pa-panic siyang bitawan yung sumasabog na firecracker.

To be honest, If I had a choice, I'd definitely choose to have a vagina.

Ang gandang tingnan; it has the aesthetics that looks a bit flowery. It's so nice and gentle. There should be a beautiful harp music coming out of its hole with swinging chimes, just to match its serene ambience and angelic look. Falalalalalala.

Then some butterflies; two or three butterflies fluttering around it. And their wings would change color according to your mood. That's how vaginas should've been designed. They're so beautiful.

Miraculous even. It could consume a tiny sperm, and nine months later, it'd push out a baby through its small hole, stretching out much, much larger than its original hole size, then deliver that human complete with a head and limbs to the World. Weeks later, it'd heal itself, and go back to its original hole size, as if she didn't participate in a miracle.

That right there is strength, courage, resilience, and durability.

No penis can do that.

A penis is a pleasure-seeking narcissist who's so proud of himself. Sasabihin niya, "Yessss, baby, Let's have fun! Let's go all night! Kaya ko hanggang round 3!" Pero maya-maya lang, lupaypay na siya, and he's like, "Ugggh! Kapagod, di ko na kayang tumayo... oh my God! What is that? Ano 'yang nanlalagkit na amoy Zonrox sa ulo ko? Gross! Eewww! It's in my hair. Why did this happen?! Fuck! I hate myself. I'm so sad and tired, please, let me rest!"

So disappointing. That's why I never understood a dick pic.