I.
Imagine may asong lalaki ka sa future, papangalanan mong "Max," ta's papaturukan mo s'ya sa libreng rabies bakuna sa baranggay; ta's pag-dating mo do'n, may asong makakahalubilo si Max; you think the dog is familiar, then you recall, "Hala, 'yan yung asong nakakaslubong namin ni Max every morning jog;" ta's aamoy-aamuyin ni Max yung pwetan n'ya, then they begin nibbling each other's ear, hanggang nga nag-kantutan sila; ta's you'd look at the owner of that dog, she's getting uncomfortable, e ikaw, responsible ka, so you say, "Max! No! No!" Hihilahin mo s'ya by the leash, pero he won't stop; then yung owner nung babaeng dog, she'd say to you, "Hayaan mo na, muk'ang nagmamahalan sila;" then you both giggle, then you quip, "Sanaol may ka-kantutan;" then she says to you, "Yeah;" then you look at each other with a weird tensed gaze; then you say, "Gusto mong kumain muna? Iwan muna natin sila?" Then she smiles and nods and you walk away... 3 weeks later kayo naman nag doggy style. Imagineeee.
II.
IMAGINE, YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH YOUR GIRL TAPOS YUNG HEAD MO NASA CHEST NYA. MALIIT MAN O MALAKI IT DOESN'T MATTER AS LONG AS NARIRINIG MO YUNG HEARTBEAT NIYA NA SOBRANG SARAP SA TENGA. TAPOS SHE'S COMBING YOUR HAIR PA USING HER FINGERS. TAPOS YUNG KATAWAN MO NILAGAY N'YA SA REF.
III.
Imagine, you're a lawyer/attorney and your lover is the judge then you furiously said, "objection, your honor." Then your lover pouted and acted to cry and said, "I'm not your honor, I'm your baby."
Then the prosecutor is like, "What the fuck?!"
Then the jury is like, "Putangina, contempt of court 'to di ba?"
Then the accused murderer is like, "Sana kayo na lang yung binaril ko."
Wala lang. Ang cute lang.
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Penis Doodles On The Bathroom Walls Of Impermanence
AcakSo, gumawa ako ng Wattpad collection kasi baka mamatay na'ko bukas. I don't know if masyado bang self-indulgent to digitally publish a collection like this; three years of writing, and I still could not validate my self as a writer. The impostor sy...
