My damaged little emo prince (boyxboy)

Consider me gone

Kaden's POV

I felt my forehead for the sixth time since Jatson left. It doesn't bother me though. I've been sick for about a year now. They don't know what's wrong with me... Whatever it is it's targeting my heart and liver. It hurts sometimes. I grabbed the TV remote and turned onto YouTube through my WII. I pulled up Consider me Dead's song 'breathe me in'. I've been listening to it still last month. I don't know why though.

I laid down and grabbed my pad of paper and pen. It feels like I'm not gonna be alive much longer... At least Josh is getting to have fun for once. He has seemed down lately. Like his world has no color. I started to write.

Dear Josh,

You know I love you baby. My beautiful baby... You look like you've lost you're will to live lately... I don't ever want to see you sad and if you're reading this you're probably crushed. Listen to me Josh, I love you more then life itself. I never want to see you go back to how you acted before we met of after I left. You have to promise me you won't! You have Jatson to take care of you now and if he won't, punch him in the gut haha that always seems to get people to do the right thing. I don't care what Gabe did or the fact that Jatson cheated. I forgave them both when we found out. You need to accept what happened and trust that he won't do it agian. You don't like other people and I understand that but Josh I don't want to see you alone anymore. I would give up every experience in my life good and bad just to be with you. Mourning the fact that I'm not here anymore is like stabbing my heart and ripping it out. There's a necklace in my room I made for you after we first met but never gave to you. It's under all my clothes in the back of my closet. I know it's not the best place to keep something. You can wear it or throw it away its your choice. I love you Josh. I do.

Love, Kaden

P.S. move on baby I love you to much to see you cry.

I closed the letter and felt the tears run down my face and land on the letter. He was so shy and awkward when we first met. He's grown so much...

Dear Jatson,

Don't you dare hurt Josh agian! He's gonna pull back, not wanna talk to anyone. You need to stay with him when that happens! You can't leave or he won't last long. I love you. He's been with me longer though. I know what he's going to do better then I know what you'll do. And I have a pretty good idea you're going to run. Don't you dare! You sit you ass down in Josh's room and you don't leave till he's feeling better! I don't want to see josh that quick because of something you did!

Now I'm sorry I kept my illness from you... I don't even know what's wrong with me! If you blame yourself I'll come back and punch you. I love you so much and I just want you to be happy. If you're not happy with Josh just wait till he's feeling better about my... my death... I wish I could tell you how much I love you but I can't because it would come out a jumbled mess of crap. Thankyou so much for everything. This last year has been the best year of my life because I was with the both of you. I love you.

Love, Kaden

I felt my heart clench as I read the letter. I didn't really say alot to him... I mostly talked about how he needed to take care of Josh. I need to leave something for him... Oh! I ran to my room and pulled out a bag from under my bed. Max had taken some picture of me when I was with him and he gave them back when we broke up.

He was a very sweet guy. I slipped the pictures into the envolope and sealed it. I pulled out anouther peice of paper.

Dear mom and dad,

You have no idea the hell you forced me through. I stayed over at Josh's house most nights because I was terrified you both would kill me.

All my clothes will be going to Josh. Everything else Jatson and Josh can choose if they want I don't really care who gets what. I want to be cremated but before that I want a funeral held. Open casket and Josh and Jatson are comeing. Josh needs to know I'm gone and that's the way I want it done. You can either keep my ashes or give them to Jatson.

You ruined my life so please honor my wishes. Thankyou.

Kaden

I would never write anything personal to my parents. They made my life horrible. I sealed in and laid back on my bed. The ceiling was white and not very insteresting. The music still played on and on from the living room and my body was starting to get uncomfortable with the heat. I pulled off my clothes. The clenching around my heart was getting worse but I was still alive.

I would go to the hospital but I didn't feel spending anouther night with Josh crying. I pulled out my camera and set it on the side table. I pressed record and started to talk.

"Hey umm to the person who's watching this, I'm not going to the hospital because I don't want to die in a cold room with people I don't know. And I know this isn't much better but I don't care. Joshy is you're watching this I love you. I need you to move on baby. Jatson's gonna be with you."

I sighed and felt a tear streaked down my face. I placed my hand to my lips and blew a kiss to him.

"Jatson you gotta take care of him cuz I... I can't anymore. I love you both and Jatson. What you said the night you snuck into my room after Josh found out you were cheating.... You need to move that over to Josh cuz he needs it more then me."

Tears gushed from my eyes.

"I love you Jatson! I love you Josh."

I turned off the camra and fell back down to the bed. My hand shot to my heart. I groaned and felt my breathing shallow. The heat had risen from the last time I checked. I just wanted the pain to stop. It would soon I know it. I closed my eyes and waited for it to stop. With 'catch me when I fall' by Ashlee Simpson playing in the background...

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Author's note: DON'T BASH ME! IT TOOK ME LIKE 3 WEEKS TO WRITE THIS AND EACH TIME I HAD TO STOP TO CRY!!

The story isn't over yet but some big changes will happen. There are about 2-3 chapters left before this story ends and I'm so amazing by the growth it's made. I could have never dreamed tht something I wrote a posted as a whim would grow like this and hopefully keep growing.

Comment vote and fan. :') thankyou for reading even throught this chapter is sad. And you have no clue what the date between Josh and Jatson. Also I'm on YouTube and will hopefully be posting videos with details about when the next chapters for MINE! and this story. My channel is called ShayOtaku

Ps sorry if there are grammatical errors I couldn't read this more then once without crying.