Shadowhunters Fanfic Season 4 (Complete)

Season 4: episode 1 ''A new beginning'' (Part 3)

One year ago

It was two days after Clary's note to Jace, stating that the Angels wouldn't forgive her for using her Angelic powers once more, even after they asked her to not do it again. He couldn't stop reading that note, tears kept coming every time he did. Alec knocks on the door as he sees Jace sitting on his bed, reading the note again, tears rolling down his cheek. ''It's time.'' Jace slowly looks up, bags under his eyes, red eyes from crying. Alec walks over to him as Jace stands up, letting Alec take him in his arms as only his Parabatai could. He didn't need to say anything, Alec knew what he needed, and he'd provide it.

They had organised a farewell remembrance ceremony to honour Clary as a Shadowhunter. It was a tad bit different, seeing as she wasn't dead. But Jace did everything in his power to let the Institute organise something for her. Izzy had helped him decorate the room with her drawings, honouring her artistic talents. Simon hang photos everywhere. Of him and her, them and her. Everyone she held dear. And everyone she knew was invited. Luke and Maryse, Maia, Raphael, Meliorn, Magnus, even Lydia came back for it. And Simon had invited his sister Rebecca too. Underhill was in charge of letting everyone in and making sure no Downworlder was left out, like Clary would've wanted.

Alec slowly lets Jace go as he puts a hand on his shoulder. ''I'm right here, and I'm not leaving your side. I'll stand up there with you.'' Jace nods slowly, his face showing pure heartbreak. He couldn't do this without Alec, and he knew. They walk out of Jace's room as they enter the room where everyone's gathered. Simon stands next to Isabelle, holding hands, so do Luke and Maryse. Magnus gives Alec a quick kiss, knowing he had to stand by Jace's side. They both stand in front of the crowd, Jace in the front, Alec directly behind him. He looks out over everyone who's there, everyone Clary loved, everyone who loves her. His eyes land on Simon. Even though he used to dislike him, he started to grow fond of him. And so, did Simon. Simon smiles emphatically at him, though the smile fades just as quick as his eyes land on a photo of him and Clary.

Jace looks at Maryse, a hint of proudness and relief in her eyes that it's not one of her children she's saying goodbye to. Yet she's proud of Jace for standing there, for going beyond his own sorrow to honour Clary. He takes one last deep breath before he speaks, his voice shaky. ''Clary is a warrior to be proud of. She saved my life, saved all of our lives, got us out of a trap we all walked into.'' He tries to stand there with a brave posture, but it's hard when the love of your life is gone, no longer there to hold onto. It's hard to honour someone who's not dead, yet no longer present in the future you had thought of.

He couldn't get rid of the guilt, that if he had known about the Angels' warning, he could've stopped her. Alec's hand ends up on Jace's shoulder as he notices his brother starts to tremble. Jace regains himself. He holds her note in his hands, feels the pain, sorrow and heartache that she wrote it with. ''At the start, I thought I had nothing left to lose, nothing to stop me from trying to protect the Mundanes against the Demons. But in the end, Clary and I were immersed in a love undying. She opened my eyes, showed me that our emotions don't always cloud our judgement. Love, makes us stronger. Her heart won't be lost without a trace, for her good actions still take place today. The consequences she took to risk our love, our friendship, our family, all to keep us safe. Forever, we'll be free to bask in the light of her grace. For the way she rallied for her loved ones, for each other. She showed me that family doesn't need to be something that you're born into. Families can be made, for she was like family to all of us, to this Institute. She'll always be the love of my life, for there's no one else like her. And I'm every bit as proud of her as her friends and family.''

Luke, as the tough guy he is, can't suppress the tears coming. He missed his daughter. Maryse squeezes his hand as she knows he's in pain. Even Izzy, not one to show emotions, can't hide her pain as she wipes away a tear. Jace never thought that such words of high praise would ever leave his mouth, but they did. It was because of how much he loved her. All his words leave everyone speechless. Simon then slips his hand out of Izzy's and walks over to Jace. He stops in front of him. And without thinking twice, he gives Jace a hug. He remembered that Jace once refused to hug him back when he was dating Clary, but now, he gives in. Izzy smiles with new tears forming in her eyes, happy the two finally seem to get along. Even Alec couldn't hide a small smile, even though he still had a hard time accepting that he was dating his sister.

Simon lets Jace go and takes a step back, turning around towards the crowd. ''We're forever indebted with Clary's sacrifice and care for us. We all fought alongside her to beat Valentine, Lilith and Jonathan, yet she was the bravest of us all. We couldn't bring her back home with us, but we can make sure she'll always have a home here. I want you to never forget what she risked for all of us.'' It meant a great deal to Jace that Simon backed him up, that he wasn't speaking all alone. Of course, Simon had known her all her life, yet he told Jace he couldn't speak. But seeing Jace stand there, Simon felt the need to join him. And then, it's Alec who steps forward.

''I never truly apologised to Clary for how I behaved the first time she came here. I told her she didn't belong here, and I admit, it wasn't my proudest moment.'' He locks eyes with Izzy as she was there that day, heard all he said to Clary. ''I was quite asperous towards her. But at the time, it was just hard to envision the future when the present was so unstable, when Valentine was on the loose with the Cup, she was his daughter and my Parabatai was missing.'' Jace looks down, knowing what Alec was talking about. An extorted voice calls out to Jace, almost sounding like Clary saying his name. But he knew that it was yet another fragment of his imagination, so he waves it off, not wanting to miss a single word that Alec spoke, even when he looks saddened and distressed.

He was on the verge of breaking down, but he had to stay strong in front of the crowd. But could he when it came to the love of his life? The agony he felt, the misery and the mourning he didn't really have the chance to show. But he couldn't, he had to let it out. Tears roll down his cheeks as Alec stops talking for a second, feeling his Parabatai was in pain. But as he wants to take Jace in his arms, he shakes his head and looks directly at Luke as he hears him talk. ''Our spirits are forever bonded. Clary may be gone from the Shadowhunter life, but she'll never leave our hearts.'' The crowd nods to that, Jace does too. He had never dared to dream that so many people present would back him up on speaking about her. But they did.

''I know that losing someone will never get any easier, but know that Clary walks beside all of us every day. She guided us through the war, stood by us during the duration of it, restored peace. Even now. We never really lose her'', Izzy says, walking over to join her brothers and boyfriend. They all hold hands as they look at Magnus. He was still missing from the closest bond they ever had together. With tears in his eyes, he walks over to them to join them. ''It's hard to just make another leap of faith, but it's what she would've wanted'', Izzy says as she squeezes Jace's hand. He wants to believe her words, but it's hard. The events left a tremendously big hole in his subconsciousness, in his heart.

''They say that Shadowhunters, even Downworlders, are expendable. But we're not, she's not. She was more than that, my little Biscuit. No matter its brevity, I'll never forget the time we had together. She helped me when Valentine took over my body, when I was hurting. When I was fighting for my love.'' Alec kisses him on the mouth tenderly. Jace takes one last deep breath as he concludes the ceremony. ''We'll never forget you, Clary Fairchild. You're strong-willed, and I love that about you. I'll find that sun-drenched landscape you wanted to discover and draw. I thought love was something you attainted and held onto, but now I know that it's changeable. It grows and shifts every day, has to be kept alive with work. Which is what I'll do, until I'll meet you again, hold you again.''

Her friends and family all write something down in a small booklet they put up at the front. If she were to ever return, she could read it, see how much they missed her, wanted her back. Jace stares at them sighing, still trembling from the speech he had given, how everyone backed him up. He feels a hand on his shoulder, turns around to see Simon stand there. They could now both find a way to heal, to bury the guilt, to mourn their friend and love lost. Moreover, to find a way to deal with the aftermath of the Angels' despise, even when she served as a Shadowhunter with strength, honour and grace. They hug each other one more time, now bonding over a girl they both loved till the end of the world.

To be continued...