My Little Angel // Supernatural

Chapter Fourteen

It felt like it had been years since I had to hold my dead son close to me after seeing him being killed by the one that was supposed to be all good things. I couldn't keep up with what day it had been or what time it was since I couldn't sleep because every time I closed my eyes all I would see was his body in my lap. I hadn't left my room much less my bed, and Sam was constantly trying to come into my room but the door had been locked.

I didn't know if Castiel was okay or not, but all I knew was that the void in my chest kept growing each time I tried to sleep. Dean wanted to give him a hunter's funeral, but I had absolutely refused for that to happen, so I had no idea where his body was. I had angel sigils on my door in case Castiel was okay or Jack tried to get in my room despite the door being locked.

I was broken. I was pissed. I wanted to kill Chuck but I knew there was no doing that. He's God.

I took a deep breath as I lifted my body off of the bed which had felt like so much more weight than it really was. My body felt heavy, I felt completely drained, my hair was a mess and I probably stunk. I had to get out of the room before Sam went insane from my lack of speaking to him. I know he was sad about the loss but I know he is beyond scared for me.

I picked up my body to my feet and walked toward the door where I let my hand hover over the doorknob as I wondered if I truly wanted to face everyone. I didn't want their sympathy but I knew that was exactly what I will be receiving when I walk out of the room. I took in a long, shaky breath as I built up the courage to pull open my door and take a step on the other side.

There was a different feeling from my room to the outside. There was a thick sadness in my room meanwhile out here it seemed more open. I could hear low voices echoing down the hall telling me that Eve was back from her hunt. There wasn't any telling on how long she had been back, and quite frankly, I hadn't been the most concerned considering all I wanted to do was lay in bed and ignore the world.

I took unstable steps down the hallway with my hand gliding lightly against the wall in case I was gonna fall out from all the lack of nutrition. My chest grew tighter the closer I had gotten to being around my brothers and Evelynn, and I had no idea what to expect. I was scared.

As I made it toward the doorway (I switched rooms from where I had been originally), I began to regret leaving my room so I went to turn around to go back, but I had already been spotted. There had been a light grasp on my wrist that caused me to stop in my tracks as I closed my eyes lightly. I chewed on my lip to keep the trembling from getting worse.

"Dillon?" it was the low gruff voice of my eldest brother.

"I want to go back," I whispered with a raspy voice from the lack of being used. Dean only held onto my wrist tighter as a way to keep me from leaving the spot and going back to my cave of depression. My cave of depression seemed nice, and it had seemed like a safe haven from the world, because being out here made the void in my chest grow stronger than it was.

"You can't keep yourself locked away. We're worried about you. Sam is worried about you."

"Good for Sam," I shrugged as I continued to keep my back from my brother. I didn't want to look at him or any of them because Luke resembled his uncles very closely. I couldn't bare to see his face in theirs.

"Dillon, this isn't you."

"My son was just murdered in front of me, Dean. I watched him die in my arms.  A person that I had mothered in my body. The child I carried, Dean! Excuse me for being like this," I nearly turned and screamed in his face, but I refrained myself. He didn't deserve to get the backlash of my anger, none of them did and that was why I wanted to leave.