Blue

The Gift.

"I really love him." Jungkook whispered to Jimin who had come over to pick them up for their trip into town.

"Why are you whispering? Haven't you told him?" Jimin asked, leaning against the back of the sofa.

Jungkook was more than capable of driving now but he was letting Jimin have the use of his car because he had been given six months off work so it seemed silly to have his car sitting outside unused most days. This was also a big day and Jungkook wanted his sole focus to be on Tae so after a long talk with Jimin they decided he should let him drive so he can do what he feels he needs to do.

Today was hairdresser day and they were actually going this time after cancelling the previous two appointments. A few days before each appointment, Tae was quiet and Jungkook saw the familiar look on his face where he was clearly worried about something. It was those times when he made sure they had the time and space to talk so he could get to the bottom of it, with Tae each time being apprehensive about the hairdressers. Once they'd talked it through, the appointments were moved and this time it was actually happening which was more progress. Jungkook wanted Tae to be ready and he clearly hadn't been but today was the day and his heart swelled when he saw the smile on his face first thing this morning.

In the weeks since they'd had sex on the sofa, things had been a bit rocky at times. Tae had withdrawn for a bit and become super clingy and Jungkook had to find a way to get through to him to find out what was wrong. He ran a bubble bath and washed him with gentle hands while he listened to Tae explain that he was conflicted, part of him worried that he would never be enough for Jungkook and part of him was scared of letting go. Tae had lived a life where sex was everything it wasn't with Jungkook and suddenly the thought that sex with him was plain, panicked him wondering if Jungkook wanted more. As he washed the man sitting between his legs, Jungkook told him that from his point of view, sex would never be plain with Tae because of the depth of feelings involved and it was about so much more than the physical act. He was a little pleased that Tae couldn't see his face because he did blush as he spoke honestly about what sex meant to him and how any intimacy with Tae was intense. The policeman reiterated again that they would move at his pace, there wasn't any need to rush it and he was under no pressure to do anything.

That had been difficult and all Jungkook could do was try and assure him that he had worries of his own too but they needed to get through them together. That would have been the perfect opportunity to define their relationship but Jungkook wimped out. During one of the conversations, Jungkook broached the subject of looking into seeing a psychiatrist or another kind of therapy to help Tae deal with everything he'd experienced in his life. Tae agreed to think about it but he was honest in saying that he knew what situations were causing him trouble, which circumstances were at the root of his triggers and he didn't feel that discussing them would be helpful and he worried about bringing things to the surface that would unlock more than he could deal with. Jungkook asked him to try and open up to him as much as possible, explaining that bottling things up wouldn't help, until he made a decision about seeking help. Tae agreed, he explained that opening up to Jungkook didn't scare him, sometimes he just didn't want to admit things out loud but if he was going to discuss it with anyone he didn't have a problem talking to him.

"I'm whispering because I'm telling you. Of course I've told him." Jungkook said, still with a hushed tone.

"Does he love you?" Jimin asked, chewing on a stick of celery he'd taken out of the fridge.

"I don't know? I feel like he does."

"He's not told you?"

"No but he's been through a lot."

"It's early days, still. I mean, it's only been a couple of months since that night and the first month at least was really tough. Have you had 'the' talk?"