A twilight Fanfiction: 𝓢𝓲𝓵𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷

Chapter 11

"Do you want to do it together?" Jacob offered. He sounded worried now, afraid something might happen if he didn't walk me through it. But in that moment I realized something. I didn't want to be treated like a little girl. I didn't want to be treated like some special wolf that they were doing a favour by bringing into the pack. And I certainly didn't want to have a crutch in any of the challenges I face. No. I wanted to prove my worth and show them that I not only deserve to be in the pack, but that they want me in. No more hesitation. No more throwing up. I wouldn't even allow a glimpse of fear to show through my fearlessness. I'd have to fake it till I make it. Because although I'm certain I could never win that battle against Sam and Leah, I'll surely put up a hell of a fight, and go down like a warrior does—with strength and determination to the very end. My mood improved tremendously at the thought of my new plan. My fear had been clouding my hatred for being seen as weak. My whole clan does it. The Cullens look at me like I'm a hopeless case. That they're constantly doing me a favour. That I need babysitting, like a child. I am no child. And today, I will prove it. To everyone.

"No," I said, my voice coming out clearer now, drenched in strength. Although it still shook in fear, I didn't care. I pretended not to notice. "You go," I told him. I looked up at him, forcing myself to stay balanced. And there he was, beaming at me proudly.

"I'll see you on the flip-side then," teased Jacob before diving headfirst into the water. I watched, careful of his every movement until he plunged into the depths below. That is what I would do. Dive. After all, I was a great swimmer. This particular diving height was new to me, however. If I did the slightest thing wrong I'd back-flop, belly-flop, or go somersaulting wildly below. I could just do a pencil dive like Leah and save me all the trouble. But no, those weren't options. I had to be better than her, especially if she thinks that she now wants to prove her superiority towards me. I wouldn't let her make a fool out of me. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction.

As I look down at all the anticipating eyes, I take in a deep breath, filling my lungs with the wooded and salty air, a strange combination. I decided to jump once I let the breath go, curling my toes over the edge and placing my straight arms in a triangle above my head. This position, one I'd done so many times, felt natural.

Finally I let go of the breath, allowing the air to seep out of my lungs. And then I cleared my mind. I rid it of all thoughts. My body ached for me to stay on the cliff but as my mind emptied, I forced it to jump.

For a moment, I felt nothing but the churning of my stomach as I positioned myself facing down towards the water at a slight angle. That's when the wind caught my hair and smacked me in the face, causing difficulty with keeping my eyes open. The rush of the fall was disorientating but unmeasurable. I willed my brain to focus on the task at hand and slowly tilted myself so I would be parallel with the wall and held my position, praying that I'd reach the water just fine. Now I shut my eyes, squeezed them, actually, until my head hurt. The drop felt so agonizingly long that I had time to wonder when I'd hit the ocean.

I slowly started tilting back and panic seized in my chest. I couldn't back-flop and make a fool of myself, so I hoped the water came soon before I tilted too far back. Please, please, please, please I thought desperately.

Then there it was. The tips of my fingers hit it first, parting way for the rest of my body. The liquid embraced me as I shot through, the cold sent a spike of shock through my body. I did it! I celebrated internally as bubbles exited my mouth and blocked my view. But I could tell which way was up from the countless times I've dived. Of course this was a little different but I tried to imagine myself diving off a regular ledge at a pool and it was easy to find my way up.

My head popped out of the surface and I sucked in as much air as my lungs could carry. Before I was able to breath steadily, Jacob, Quill, Paul and the others surrounded me, yelling things I couldn't hear over the sound of my pulse.