A twilight Fanfiction: 𝓢𝓲𝓵𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷

Chapter 15

A/N: Warning: This chapter contains smut. If you would like to skip it, make sure to look out for my beginning and ending authors notes for that section of the chapter!
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My view of Jacob became blurry as black dots covered my vision. I blinked a few times to push them out of sight but it was no use. A pathetic wheeze left my throat, a croak so loud but was quickly silenced by the pressure of Jacob's firm hand tightening itself around my little throat. I gripped his wrist, digging my nails into his thick skin, my legs twitching as I tried to hold them back from flinging at Jacob. The colour in my face drained slowly, my lips turned blue and I was left looking a sickly colour.

I could've probably put up a good fight. Especially in my vampire form as he stands their in his human form. But I couldn't bring myself to hurt him. There had been many times over the course of this moment—which felt much longer than it actually was—where I considered forcing him off of me and running away, but if Jacob, of all people, wanted me dead, then what was the point of living? It's what I wanted anyway... Wasn't it?

An unreadable expression swam through Jacob's face and I watched his confused looking eyes continue to stare into me. What was he thinking?

I probably looked pitiful and wretched as he killed me with his bare hands. I couldn't help but feel embarrassed when a few whimpers escaped my lips and tears streamed down my cheeks before making their way to his enormous fist. I couldn't explain how but this moment felt intimate, like our emotions were swimming into each other's eyes. Maybe it was our closeness, or his hesitation to end my life, or perhaps my refusal to fight back.

"Just do it," I pleaded. I could feel his grip tightening and loosening, a battle flaming in his eyes. "Do it for the pack," I pressed. For a horrific moment, my vision was clouded with nothing but red and black dots. But only confusion arose once the air began flowing through my lungs again. I could barely remember my head spinning as I gasped, or the blood that pooled on my tongue as I coughed violently. I wrapped my own hands around my bruised and aching throat. But I never remembered dropping to the floor.

Instead, I could feel his arms slither around my waist, it's warmth sending a shock of urgency through my muscles. I jolted back until I was pressed against the wall once more. When I looked up at him with fear, all I could see was the intense look of regret on Jacob's face. He could barely look me in the eyes as he let his head fall against my shoulder. I flinched as he whispered "forgive me," before slamming his fist in the wall next to my head.

The moonlight that peered in through the windows reflected off of Jacob's glistening eyes and the tears that now streamed down his face. I had never seen the boy cry before, but in that moment, every bit of fear or anger I held towards him melted away. A string in my heart pulled me towards the following actions in which I could barely control myself.

I took him by the face, my small slender fingers coddling his wet cheeks and forced him to look me in the eyes. Seeing the pain tear through him was enough to make me hurt along with him. I knew in that moment that no matter what Jacob did to me, I would always find a way to forgive him. Is that what it meant to love?

"I- I-" he couldn't manage to speak a full sentence, his weak tongue slurring his words.

Before he could try again, I pulled his face forward until I felt his lips pressed firmly against mine. He didn't fight back, in fact I could feel him pulling me closer to him. My chest exploded and my head became dizzier. His hands clasped my waist and behind the dark of my eyelids I could imagine him tightening at my sudden action.

I was the first to pull away and look into his eyes as we knelt on the coke floor, now they were replaced with something else, something that dominated anything else he might've been feeling previously. It was a hunger, like looking into the eyes of a wolf preparing to pounce on its prey. I've lived that feeling, so I can recognize it in his starving eyes. But this time, he starved for me.