Be With You

Kabter 15

It's been months since that day passed. The way I'm making my self busy in all those months of....breathing? I guess. But since then, there's the time they hurried me in the hospital because I collapsed and the doctor says It is bad for my health, for the baby. Healthy naman yung baby ko at malakas yung kapit ngunit baka pareho kaming malagay sa panganib pagginawa ko uli 'yon.

I know it's my choice to distance myself from him. To think and to be at peace... even a little. And now he's here, sumusulpot na parang kabute.

"What are you doing here?" I still remain my blank face at him, waiting for his answer.

"Gonna take care the both of you. My lovely loves." he smiles. He freaking smiles. I know I shouldn't taken away by his smile but it's been so long since I saw him smile. That smile made him even more handsome like I just want him in my life ag—

No, I don't want him in my life. No, no, no. Period.

"I can take care of my self, you damn asshole." I said while squinting my eyes on him and started walking away from him.

It's been a sunny cold breeze out here and I can't take it anymore. I'm burning angry at him but I can still feel the big impact of the cold breeze on my skin.

Napayakap ako sa 'king sarili at dali-daling naglakad papasok sa 'ming bahay. Napahinto ako nang may kamay na humawak sa 'kin. Napahinga naman ako nang malalim at dahan-dahan ko s'yang tinignan nang masama.

"What do you want now?" nagpipigil kong inis na sabi sa kanya. He look like a lost puppy that needs to be taken care of and give lots of love but I'm not that stupid. I know I'm once... twice stupid but not anymore.

"I want to be with you and our child...Celo," he softly said. I look at him with trembling eyes while biting my lips.

"And I want to be with my self, Grant. I hope I make it clears to you now."

"Celo..."

Bahagya kong pinapalis ang mga luhang kumala nang makatalikod ako at mabilis na sinara ang pinto nang makapasok. Napasandal na lamang ako sa pinto at dahan-dahang nawalan nang balanse at napa-upo sa sahig.

Patuloy ko pa ding pinapalis ang mga luhang away magsitigil sa pag-agos.

"Stop, stop, stop. Please... I don't want him to be the reason why I'm crying all over again,"

Nagising ako dahil sa ingay na aking naririnig sa kanang banda. Para bang tunog na nagmumula sa makina at parang may naamoy din akong gamot. Dahan-dahan naman akong napamulat. Unang bumugad sa 'king paningin ang kisameng tila ba ay pamilyar sa 'kin at para bang kakagaling ko lang dito. 

''Shit..'' mahinang wika 'ko at napapikit. I'm at the hospital again. Kakagaling ko lang dito and I'm here again. Same hospital, same room.

Napatingin naman ako sa 'king gilid dahil naramdaman ko ang maliit na paggalaw na nagmumula dito. And I see his hair. Him, again. Pansin ko ang pag dahan-dahan n'yang paggalaw at pagkagising. Napatulala naman ako nang makita ko ang kanyang gwapong mukha at napalunok. He look at me confused, he then touch his face.