Lost (OUAT Peter Pan fanfiction)

~Chapter 18~

"When I was younger.. I umm... I--" I start.

"You're going to have to speak up, Wendy. I can barley hear you over the sound of Bays heart beating out of his chest," it's Peters voice. I know it immediately. The words float around the caves in a deathening echo. I would laugh at the irony from the name Echo caves and Peters echo, but all I can think about is the fear. This is the least I can do for Bay. He's done so much for me, I can return the favor.

I clear my throat, "when I was about 9, my older brother, John, loved staying out late. I didn't think anything of it at first. Then he started coming home with blood on him or even in small containers in his bags. That's when I followed him. He was meeting up with some guys I had never met before. One of them attacked me. John didn't do anything to stop him.." I pause and suck in a breath trying to keep control over the memory. "He hit me several times until I was able to grab his gun. I umm, I shot him. He died that night, at least I think he did. I ran before the others could get me. John never said anything to our parents but I feel like they knew somewhere in their minds that it was me. They denied that a 9 year old had taken a life to the cops. After that I was never taken off the cops radar. After that I was never the same. I had stolen a mans life," my voice hitched. A tear fell down my face, I wiped it off as soon as it touched my skin. I won't break here.

The bridge was finishing. I broke out into a run towards Bay. The pounding of my feet is in sync with my heart. I nearly slam Into the cage.

"Wendy," Bay mumbles. His legs and arms are tied and he looks like he has been beaten repetitively. He has a black eye, a busted lip, and cuts and bruises everywhere. He can barley hold his eyes open.

"Bay, hold on Bay, it's okay I'm here," I don't realize I'm hyperventilating until slightly comes behind me.

"Wendy," Slightly starts, "maybe you should sit down." I'm shocked at the raw concern tracing his feature, but I'm far too distracted to pay any attention.

"No I don't want to sit down I want to get him out.!" I start a shaking and hitting the cage out of frustration.

Slightly grabs my arms pushing them to my sides.

"please calm down. The cave knows that you're getting upset---"

"The cave doesn't know anything.! It's just a piece of rock.!" I bawl my hands together to hide the tremble.

"Just breathe. Match your breath to mine." I do as I'm told. I close my eyes to focus more on my breathing. "Good job."

"Get him out," I whisper opening my eyes.

Slightly pulls out a knife and breaks apart the cage. He then cuts the rope binding him to what remains of his prison. Almost as soon as Bay stands up he is running to me and wrapping his arms around my waist. I put my hands around his neck and pull him as close as possible trying to make sure he is real.

"I'm so sorry Bay," I mumble into his neck.

"Don't be it wasn't your fault."

"I can't believe he put you in a cage."

"It's over, Wendy. I'm okay. You're okay."

"Uhh guys," slightly starts, "I'm still here."

I pull away from Bay.

"So am I," Peter says before appearing right next to me. "You can go now, lost boys."

"I'm not leaving her," Bay states.

"You don't have a choice. Go."

Slightly drags Bay out of the caves with a grunt. I suck in some air and turn to face the green eyed monster.

PANS POV

I brought her to the Echo caves to break her. Instead it just gave her Slightlys respect. I wasn't expecting her confession to be a death. I needed it to be her acceptance of being a lost girl.

The other girls have shrunk down in fear in my presence. Wendy, however, looks like she's about to spit in my face. She's beautiful. I can't deny that. Even on an island running through the woods to escape her imminent death. That's why I want her. She's strong. The strong are the best to play with. They make for the most interesting games.

The voice creeps its way in my brain.

Tell her she blew it. Tell her she almost killed him. Crush her.

The shadow hisses in my ear. He is the root of all my violence. I can't escape him. I can't escape my curse. He will always cause me to inflict pain on those I could love or who could love me. Wendy's disdain for me is obvious. Not that I blame her. The shadow has always told me it is better to be feared than loved.

Don't loose it Peter. We can't aford you being such a screw up.! hit her, scream, do something.!

The shadow sends the pain again. It travels from my brain to my toes. It's how he controls me. The pain is agonizing. It's short but that's probably because it's how the shadow kills.

Before I can stop myself I'm reaching out and slaping Wendy across the face.

"Sorry that I beat you at your little game, but this is rediculous," Wendy shouts.

Good. Now tell her how it was her fault. Tell her what a disapointment she is.!

"Listen, darling. I assure you, that nothing about this game is little."

Her ocean blue eyes stare at me. She's so stubborn. I wish she knew. I wish she could hear me.

"Too bad mommy and daddy couldn't be here to watch you save your friend. Maybe then they wouldn't be so angry about your murder," I take a step closer. We are only about 3 inches apart.

You've stabbed her, now twist the knife. Do it now.!!!

"They never would have accepted you anyway. They already lied. They covered up the mess but that mans blood will always be on your hands.!"

"They did it because they loved me. I feel bad for you Peter. Have you ever loved someone.? Have you ever had someone love you back.?"

I am holding a knife but she's holding a pistol and she just fired it.

Make her pay.!

I reach out and grab a handful of her hair. I drug her over to the stone walls and slammed her against the wall. Not hard enough to knock her out but hard enough to make her head spin. She falls to the ground next to me clutching her head. Blood is running down the side of her face and dripping onto the floor. What have I done.?

"Wendy let me help." I lean down to heal the wound.

"Stay away from me," She curls back.

"I can help you. I can make the pain go away."

I hope she can see me pleading from inside. She stares into my eyes. She has always been good at seeing people for who they are. I hope she can see me as something other than a monster.

I lean down closer to her and put my hand on her head. The yellow glow swirls around my hand. No sooner than 3 seconds later, the blood stops. I start to move my hand away but Wendy covers it with her own holding it in place. The gesture is forien to me, but I don't move. I smile to her, and she returns it.

"I'm so sorry wendy," I whisper.

You fool. I will get you for this.!

I push the voice out of my mind. Her eyes and physical contact are all I can think about.

"I know," Wendy says softly. She leans closer to me and lightly brushes her lips across my cheek, "me too."

||| |Authors note ||||

Hey guys so I think I've found the perfect song to go along with this book well Peter Pan anyway. The song is called Monster by imagine dragons. It kind of puts together how I want the book to go. Sorry I can't give too much away but I can give you that song. I hope you like it :)